[identity profile] hp-bito-mod.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] hp_bunintheoven
Title: What Happens in 1979...
Author/Artist: [livejournal.com profile] roxannepackard
Pairing(s): Hermione/Sirius
Prompt: #H21
Summary: For her 23 birthday, Luna casts a spell on Hermione that sends her back to 1979, only Hermione thinks she's dreaming.
Word Count: ~12,500
Rating: NC-17
Warnings/Contains: No warnings apply
Notes: There is referenced Harry/Draco in the background, but nothing explicit
Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.

September 19th 2002 was a Thursday. Hermione was a bit distracted and didn't even realize that it was her 23rd birthday, until she got off work, went home, and found that a few presents had been owled to her. It was then that she smiled to herself because she'd had the foresight to take the next day off and could go out and get pissed if she wanted. If she were honest, she needed a break!

Sadly, if she did so, she'd be on her own. Harry was currently out on an Auror mission, and Ron... Well, he was mildly avoiding her when Harry wasn't around. Just because they had decided to take a break to focus on their careers for a bit, he was awkward around her.

Hermione sighed and rubbed her forehead in an attempt to ward off a headache. Actually, it had been her that had suggested the break. Ron had wanted to get married already and start working on those kids they wanted to eventually have, but Hermione had felt that she needed time to devote 60 to 80 hours a week to her work without depriving her husband and children of her company.

And for the most part, she'd done exactly that; thrown herself into her work. She had hoped that Ron would still visit her when he was in the mood to chat or even shag. So that they could make it clear to each other that they still planned to get married someday, just... not right now...

However, Ron seemed to think that what she really wanted was time apart so that she could see other people or something. The sad truth was that even if she wanted to see other people, she just didn't have time. Even on her days off, she tended to work on her many cases.

Which was exactly why she needed a night out! Maybe, just maybe, she'd even meet a handsome stranger and have a one off. As much as she tried to ignore it, she still had needs and Merlin's saggy balls! She needed to get shagged! Good and proper too! Maybe once she got drunk enough, she'd find a man – likely a muggle – who'd be inclined to do whatever he liked to her until Sunday night, when she'd need to get some sleep for work on Monday.

A girl could dream, couldn't she?

“Are you home?” A soft and dreamy voice called out from the floo of Hermione's small flat.

“In here,” Hermione called out from her kitchen where she was contemplating getting tea or starting on getting pissed.

Luna popped into the kitchen a moment later. “I've decided what I want to give you for your birthday.”

“Oh? And what is that?” Hermione asked with interest, glancing over at the presents that had arrived earlier from Harry, Ron, her parents, and a few other people. She should probably open them before going out and getting drunk.

“The thing you need most right now,” Luna stated with a serene smile.

Hermione snorted. “A good and proper shag? An orgasm so glorious that I pass out from it?”

“If you like,” Luna replied with a soft grin.

“Er...” Hermione raised a brow. “You'd...?”

Luna shrugged as if she didn't have a care in the world. “Actually, yes, I would. But I know that you aren't attracted to girls, so I rather think you'd be too uncomfortable to relax and let it happen.”
Hermione tilted her head to the side and nodded in agreement.

Luna took out her wand, pointed it at Hermione, and then cast something that sounded a lot like the Latin words for as you dream, so it is. Before Hermione could figure out what the spell was or what it was intended to do, the world seemed to melt away. The next thing she knew, she was outside a club wearing...

Hermione's eyes bulged nearly an inch out of her head! She was wearing something that was so revealing that she would never consider wearing it in real life! It looked to be a dress made entirely out of crocheted lace that covered nothing even as it looked rather elegant and lady-like... sort of. The fact that she wasn't wearing anything under it made the rose-pink dress rather lewd...

Hermione fiddled with her hair nervously – only to discover that it was now completely straight and sleek. Well, straight in that it wasn't her normal bushy, curly, mess. It looked and felt like someone had taken a muggle straightener to it – or an entire bottle of Sleekeazy Potion. Thus, it was longer with a soft curl that framed her face and probably looked really good. Too bad she wasn't near a mirror!

“I have got to be dreaming!” Hermione muttered since there was no other explanation for why she was standing outside a noisy club while dressed up but nearly naked. With a sigh and a shrug, Hermione decided to just see what would happen if she went into the club and worked on getting pissed.

To her profound relief, once she was in the club – which seemed to be having a 70s disco theme night – she discovered that she actually had a small purse full of money tied to her wrist. Thus, she was able to buy herself a couple of strong drinks, which she drank rather quickly so that she could gather up the courage to try dancing.

Well hello there!” A man purred appreciatively as he looked over her dress.

Hermione raised her brow and bit her lip because the man looked so very familiar. Like... Like someone she knew very well. Like... Like Harry actually...

“Allow me to buy your next drink,” he insisted, gesturing to the bartender to add her to the round of drinks he was buying. He then returned his full attention to Hermione – who was studying him very carefully. “James Potter, nice to meet you,” he introduced himself, holding a hand out for her to shake.

“Er... Hermione Granger...” she replied a bit hesitantly. Why in the world am I dreaming about Harry's dad?!

They shook hands with James grinning at her. “It's my stag do, so I'm here to get pissed and dance as if I don't have a care in the world. I'd love a chance to flirt with you and maybe get a little touchy feely, but just so you know, I am not planning to cheat on my bride. I love her far too much for something like that.”

“Good to know,” Hermione responded with a feeling like she was surrendering to some inevitable and strange fate. After asking the bartender to have a waitress bring the round of drinks to his table, he led Hermione out onto the dance floor. Almost right away, he proved that he was a smooth and fluid dancer. “Oh wow...” Hermione exhaled in awe, feeling her head spin just a bit.

True to his word, James felt her up quite a bit. Their dancing was fun – apparently Hermione had a hidden talent for disco that she'd never known about! Fun enough that she didn't really mind the groping. Also true to his word, he didn't try to kiss her or do anything too inappropriate, or anything that could be considered cheating. When the dance was over, he led her to the table where his friends were watching them with mischievous grins.

“Hey Prongs! You're not supposed to hog all the good looking girls!”

With a start, Hermione realized that this was Sirius! He and the rest – Oh God! This had to be Remus and Peter! Hermione subtly pinched herself since she had no idea why she'd be dreaming about the Marauders! Except she couldn't tell if she felt the pinch or not since a caress to her bum startled her.

“Well Padfoot, it is my stag do. I figure I'm at least entitled to dance with beautiful women,” James stated with a grin. He then handed Hermione the drink he'd bought for her.

Sirius slipped from his chair and crowded her other side. He took her free hand and kissed it. “A pleasure to meet you. I'm Sirius Black, and these two are our best mates, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. I'm sure we'd all love a turn dancing with you.”

Hermione decided to just give in and enjoy the dream. “Why not?” She asked with a shake of her head, an amused grin, and a gesture that vaguely resembled a w made with her arms.

“I get first dance!” Peter squeaked timidly, sounding like he didn't think they'd hear him, and if so, like they'd probably ignore him anyway.

Hermione downed the drink James had handed her – to give herself courage – and then took Peter's hand. He was either the same height as her or possibly a little shorter. Everything about him was hesitant, making her seriously wonder how he'd ever been sorted into Gryffindor. Even so, he danced fairly well. To her relief, he didn't grope her – except for what was probably an accidental caress to her left breast during a spin at one point.

When the song came to an end, she noticed that Sirius and Remus were making gestures that looked a lot like rock, paper, and scissors. Remus apparently won the match because he pumped his fists in triumph and rushed to claim the next dance from Hermione before any of the other men in the packed club could gather up the courage to approach her. He was also a fun dancer, which made her smile.

“You look like you're actually having fun,” she remarked with a grin.

“Why wouldn't I?” Remus asked curiously.

Hermione merely shrugged and grinned at him for a moment before deciding to reply. “I don't know. I guess I just pictured you as a serious person. Someone who would rather study than play around.”

“Ha!” He burst out with an impish grin. “You obviously don't know the four of us! We have quite the reputation for getting into trouble. Real rebels we are.”

“Well... that I can imagine,” Hermione replied with a secretive smirk.

He was also mostly a gentleman as they danced, although he did rub his hand up and down her back and bum every chance he got. She was having so much fun that she surprisingly did not care. She was feeling just a bit drunk – enough that she wasn't really paying attention to the music beyond what was required to dance. And seriously! When did she learn how to disco?!

“Is this a muggle club then, or are they just playing muggle music?” Hermione asked when Lost in Music by Sister Sledge started to play. It was a song she liked – being very popular the month she was born. For some reason, she'd obsessed over all the music that was popular in 1979, but yes, the hits from September were her favorites.

“It's a muggle club...” Remus answered warily. He was looking at her as if he expected her to suddenly arrest him or something. “Didn't you know that?”

Hermione shrugged. “I simply closed my eyes and Apparated to the nearest club I could dance at.”
“Er... it doesn't quite work that way...”

She laughed. “It does when one of my best friends casts a spell to dress me up like this without telling me first!”

“Alright...” Remus murmured in capitulation, but he still seemed suspicious.

When the song changed again – which would be their fourth dance together, Sirius cut in. “Stop taking all the turns, Moony!”

Hermione giggled tipsily. “Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs – Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers – are proud to present The Marauder's Map; I solemnly swear I am up to no good!” Hermione vowed with her right hand raised and her left over her heart.

Remus looked downright spooked while Sirius looked straight up gobsmacked with a dollop of impressed thrown in for good measure. “How'd'you...?” Remus stammered.

Hermione devolved into helpless laughter at the looks on their faces. Sirius was rapidly looking awestruck as he stared at her. When she could stop laughing for a moment, she blew lightly across Remus' cheek and ear.

“It's a good thing tonight's not a full moon...”

Remus went almost completely white as he backed away from her. Sirius – having somehow heard her over the loud music despite her speaking rather soft – looked positively delighted. He smacked his hands across each other in glee.

“I think we've just found our first real Lady Marauder! Lily merely tolerates us, having grown a responsible bone at some point,” Sirius stated with a grin. He then slapped Remus on the back jovially. “If she's scared you off for good, then I will be more than happy to step in and claim all her dances for the rest of the night!”

Remus simply nodded and slunk back to the table. Sirius brought Hermione to the bar and ordered them both a couple of shots – which they promptly downed – before heading back onto the dance floor. Hermione quickly felt extremely dreamy, loving every moment of her wild and crazy dancing with Sirius. When Dancing Queen came on, she sang it to him as they danced, and even though it probably sounded bad, he seemed to like her voice.

When the Duke of Earl cover by the Darts played, he sang it to her, making her blush and smile. They were flirting so heavily by this point that none of the other Marauders dared to come ask for another dance. Although they all danced with others. Time passed very strangely and it seemed like maybe an hour went by, but suddenly, they had to leave the club so they could get at least a little sleep before James' wedding the next day.

Very much like Hermione would expect from a dream, it seemed like she blinked and found that she was no longer in the club. Instead, she was now in a house she'd never seen in her life. The house appeared to be a strange combination of middle class and wealthy – like it was owned by people who had grown up somewhat poor, but now had enough money to buy whatever they liked.

To her surprise, her fingers were laced through Sirius' as he was talking to her. She shook her head and struggled to pay attention, but felt like she was still rather tipsy and dreamy. She smiled at him almost adoringly until his words started to make sense.

“And anyway, since my own parents basically hated me, I've been sort of informally adopted by Fleamont and Euphemia,” Sirius informed Hermione, gesturing to an elderly couple.

“Er...” Hermione frowned in confusion as she looked at them. They were in their seventies and she couldn't begin to guess who they were. That had probably been explained while she was still trying to adjust to her surroundings changing so quickly.

James laughed softly. “You're wondering why my parents are so old, but trying to be polite about it. It's perfectly natural to wonder since I am an only child – rather than the youngest of a large brood. They simply had me late in life.”

Euphemia smiled at Hermione. “He was a complete surprise, I assure you. We'd tried for years to no avail.” Even though her smile was warm and genuine, Euphemia's eyes were questioning Hermione's dress, which brought to her attention that she was still wearing very little.

Pushing that discovery away – since she was still feeling too tipsy or dreamy to truly care how she was dressed in a dream – Hermione focused on the more important thing. “Couldn't you have just used a fertility potion?”

“There's several potions that promise to help with conception, yes, but none of them are particularly reliable,” Fleamont informed her, also with a warm smile and a curious glance at her dress.

“But...” Hermione's literally scratched her head in confusion. “The owner of the North-Side Apothecary invented a fertility potion so potent that even Wizards can get pregnant – all the way back in 1985!” She then giggled and swayed just a bit. “My best friend – you know who he is, I'm sure. Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, defeater of You-Know-Who – Lord Voldemort – and Savior of the Wizarding World – anyway, he's planning to take the potion and have a baby with his boyfriend in a year or two.” She giggled again. “Provided that he and Draco don't kill each other first.”

Everyone (aside from Peter, who was passed out) exchanged a wary look before Sirius burst into laughter. “You see?! I told you she has a sense of humor worthy of a Marauder! It's why I want to marry her today – since you're getting married and there's going to be an Officiant here anyway.” He didn't have to mention that the ceremony was going to be small and private. In fact, everyone (the four Marauders and James' parents) was already ready and waiting for the bride and Officiant to show up. Although, Peter was still sleeping off his hangover, snoring loudly from the couch.

Hermione gasped in astonishment. “Married?!” Then she shook her head a little. “I can't get married! I don't have time! I am simply inundated with work. As the newly appointed Head of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, I have my hands full trying to free house elves and write and pass laws that protect Werewolves from mistreatment and prejudice, and in between that, Minister Shacklebolt has me researching all the old pureblood laws so that we can get them updated and rewritten to be more fair – or just plain eradicate them! So, you can clearly see, I just don't have time for anything else. I had to take a day off of work tomorrow just to celebrate my birthday!”

Sirius kissed her hand. “Still having me on, I see.”

Hermione was a bit frustrated that he thought she was joking, and shook her head in order to try to gain a little sobriety. “And beside all of that, as of the 19th of September 2002, I only just turned 23. I wasn't planning to get married until I'm closer to 30, so... 2010 or so...”

Sirius snorted in amusement even as everyone else exchanged looks that clearly stated they all thought she had gone mad. “This is your way of saying yes, isn't it. By claiming something so outrageous that it simply has to be a joke. I like it! It proves that we're made for each other!”

Hermione tilted her head and stared at him in confusion.

“It's actually Saturday the 22nd of September. 1979,” James murmured.

Hermione snorted in amusement and rolled her eyes. “Ron and Harry put you all up to this! No wait! I'm actually dreaming. George Weasley – the sly devil! He Polyjuiced into Luna and slipped me one of his dream chocolates so that I'll have a bizarre dream. I'm tempted to take one of my 'Hermione Granger, Hero of the Second Wizarding War' Chocolate Frog cards and use a permanent sticking charm on it so that it can nag him on my behalf whenever he's working in his office. Which would have the bonus of nagging Ron too!” She giggled again. “Although, I could get their mum to send them a howler if I wanted to. Molly and Arthur love me and Harry as if we were their children too...” She paused and tilted her head to the side as she bit her lip in thought. “Although... if it really were 1979, Fred and George would be about a year old, Ron won't be born yet until next year – and neither will Harry. I've just been born... Wow! That's scary to think about!”

Before her baffled companions had a chance to say anything at all to her rambling, there was a loud crack – which signaled the arrival of a young woman. She immediately rushed to give James a kiss. “Sorry I'm running so late! I was doing my best to talk my sister into coming after all, but – who's this?”

“Wow...” Hermione exhaled in awe. “You really do have Harry's bright green eyes. And you look nothing like Petunia Dursley, who I've actually only seen in pictures. Harry's not particularly fond of them, you know.”

Lily cast a very curious glance around the room, but noticed that everyone seemed just as at a loss for words as she was. Aside from Peter, who made her smile as a particularly loud snore escaped him from the couch. Sirius chuckled. Out of all of them, he was the only one undaunted by the things that Hermione kept saying, and it was because he was certain that she was trying to play a prank worthy of a Marauder on them.

He grinned at Lily. “This is Hermione Granger, self proclaimed Head of the Department of the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures and my future wife.”

Hermione snapped her head toward him to protest once again that she couldn't possibly get married, but the look of sheer adoration and hopefulness on his face made her head spin again. With a soft sigh and a smile in return, she murmured: “Why not? It's wonderful to see you looking so young and happy.”

This made James snort in amusement. “She says as if you are an old man! Although, according to her, she was just born, so you're not only robbing the cradle by marrying her, but also 20 years older than her!”

Hermione frowned and shook her head again. “I honestly can't figure out why I'm having a dream about Harry's parents, Professor Lupin, and you...” she trailed off as she looked at Sirius. “When we stayed with you and the Order of the Phoenix in Grimmauld Place, I did once or twice think that you were very good looking, so maybe that's why...”

This actually made Sirius bite his lip in thought. “To be honest, you are starting to make even me nervous. You seem to know things that you really shouldn't.”

This made Hermione smile at him rather adoringly again. “Are you worried because I know about the Order? That's so funny! Even in my dream, you are protective and loyal.” She reached out with the hand that wasn't still holding his to ruffle his black hair. “I wonder if your dog form looks younger too? Would you transform for me? I haven't had time or the interest really to become an Animagus myself.”

“Er...” Sirius droned in shock since literally no one other than his fellow Marauders – and Lily – knew about that.

Hermione took this as a denial and shrugged. “No matter. If you're serious about marrying me, you'll show me eventually. As for me knowing about the Order, I already told you, I'm one of the Heroes of the Second Wizarding War. Ron and I helped Harry with the mission Dumbledore gave us that eventually led to Harry defeating Voldemort. I stayed with you in Grimmauld Place because you gave it to the Order and Dumbledore placed it under a Fidelius Charm so it's Unplottable. Kreacher was always so funny back then, grumbling about mudbloods – that's me – and blood traitors – that would be the Weasleys. It was like he thought we couldn't hear him!”

A thought occurred to Hermione and she gasped. “Oh! You know, your cousin Bellatrix once got a hold of me and tried to torture me for information, on the drawing room floor of Malfoy Manor. She carved my status as a mudblood on my arm for all to see,” she said as she held up her arm to show off the scar. “I could have easily healed it with Essence of Dittany, but I decided that I wanted to keep it as a reminder that I might be muggleborn, but I'm a damn sight better witch than she ever was!”

Everyone was staring at her scar with a look of deep speculation. James cleared his throat and stroked his chin, a slightly sly expression crossing his face. “Since all of this is nothing more than a dream you're having, can you tell me again about this Harry Potter fellow?”

Hermione rolled her eyes. “It's weird to have a dream in which Harry isn't already the most famous person in the Wizarding World. Harry James Potter, born July 31st 1980 to James and Lily Potter. He first became famous at the age of just one and a half when Voldemort,” she paused when she realized that they all did their best to hide it, but flinched at the sound of that. “Sorry, when He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named tried to murder him, but couldn't. Harry became known as the Boy-Who-Lived. Grew up and attended Hogwarts, where You Know Who tried to kill him at least once a year, only to fail because he really was a blithering idiot! Until finally, Harry completed the mission given to him by Headmaster Dumbledore and defeated the Dark Lord on May 2nd 1998. And even though it was all very terrifying at the time, I look back and have to laugh. Voldemort couldn't kill Harry with the Killing Curse as a baby, nor could he kill him by other means throughout the years, so he tried to cast the Killing Curse at Harry – not once but twice during the final battle – but of course, they failed too. I mean, if you really wanted to kill someone, don't you think you'd try to find something that worked? Such as a knife.” She shrugged. “But his stupidity is a big part of the reason Harry was finally able to defeat him. He just couldn't do anything that made sense.”

Lily was alternating between giving Hermione a look like she had officially lost the plot, and giving James a look like she couldn't understand why the crazy stranger hadn't been asked to leave yet. James was still lightly biting his lip in thought. A grin slowly getting wider and wider.

“And you say that he's happy now, planning to take a fertility potion and have a baby with his boyfriend?” James asked.

Hermione smiled at him as proudly as she would if he was Harry standing before her. “Yep! He's an Auror and even though he's often out hunting the last of the Death Eaters, he always comes home to Draco in time for dinner each night. If he didn't Draco would probably hex him into oblivion!” She laughed and shook her head. “He's sort of a good man at heart, but Draco can help being a complete arse from time to time since he was raised to believe that the Malfoy Heir can do no wrong. It's so funny to listen to them bicker!”

She stood up a bit straighter and mimicked Draco's haughty expression almost perfectly. “I simply cannot understand – Potter – why you insist on working for a living when together, we have more money than we need to live comfortably for the rest of our lives.” Then she stepped a little to the side and looked to where she pretended Draco would be standing if he was actually there. In a fair impression of Harry, she replied. “Stop being such a poncy pureblood, Draco! I love my job and would go crazy if I was home all day. I'd probably hex you into next week!”

She stepped back to where Draco would be standing and looked at pretend Harry. Once again in an impersonation of Draco, she drawled: “Of course I'm a poncy pureblood, and I resent the implication that I couldn't shield myself from a simple hex. Even from you – oh Savior and defender of all that is good and pure – aside from blood.”

Another step had her back in character as Harry. She rolled her eyes. “I know you don't believe in that blood purity nonsense, Draco, so stop trying to wind me up.”

“But winding you up is the highlight of my day!”

“I can think of better things to do...” Hermione snickered as she stopped pretending to be her friends. “And that's where Ron usually goes running from the room, covering his eyes and wailing that he didn't need to see that! Those two are mad, but they're also perfect for each other.” She grinned until she realized that James, Remus, and even Sirius were now gaping at her with expressions close to horror. Meanwhile, Lily was a bit bug-eyed. “What?”

Malfoy?!?!” James blurted out, looking green and like he was genuinely going to be sick any moment now.

Hermione chuckled and nodded in confirmation. “It was quite a shock to everyone, I assure you. They did nothing but fight from the day they first met, and for a while there, it seemed like they were mortal enemies, but then...” She spread her hands wide and half shrugged. “It was like something shifted and they realized that were dying to snog. After that, all their animosity turned to playful banter and an astonishingly solid relationship. If someone should happen to dare threaten one of them, they band together quicker than you can blink your eyes. It's that genuinely deep, true love that all the stories rave about.”

“Er...” James droned for a long moment because he just couldn't figure out how to respond to that. Lily rolled her eyes, deciding that Hermione was simply trying to wind them all up. Fleamont could just barely be heard whispering to his wife: “You know, I honestly thought James and Sirius were going to be like that before Lily became all he could talk about.” James cast his father a flat look.

Just then, a crack of Apparation followed by a knock let them know that someone had arrived. James shook off his rather disturbing thoughts and tapped Remus on the chest lightly with the back of his hand. “Go wake Wormtail and get him ready.”

Remus nodded and went to do just that as Euphemia rushed to answer the door and let the Officiant in. Sirius stroked Hermione's cheek and gave her an amused look.

“I can't decide if you really believe all these things you're saying, or if you just so happen to know enough information to make up a wild and interesting tale to entertain us. Either way, the time has come for you to answer me seriously, and yes, it's entirely strange to hear myself say that. Will you marry me?”

As Hermione returned his intent gaze, her insides felt all warm and... well, they felt the way they only ever did when she looked at Ron. With a smile, she decided to play along with this dream until the very end. Thankfully, she was no longer feeling quite so drunk, simply... In love. In a way. She didn't think it was real because her dream was so insane, but at the moment, it was nice to feel something other than overworked.

“Yes, Sirius, I'll marry you.”

Sirius crowed happily and half strangled her in an exuberant hug. Lily gasped in astonishment, having not expected that in the slightest since she'd assumed that Sirius was joking! It was so very unlike him to be so... serious...

Recovering quickly, Lily cleared her throat and interrupted what was rapidly becoming a highly inappropriate kiss. “Sirius!” She cried out. “If the Officiant is here, then we need to transfigure Hermione's dress into something more appropriate for a wedding.”

Sirius broke off his attempt to devour his bride to be's soul and grinned at Lily. “Right!”

Lily lifted her wand and aimed it at Hermione, but before she could do anything, the revealing crocheted dress shimmered and changed to a sleek and elegant off-white, spaghetti strap style gown that was lightly embroidered with white rosebuds embellished with tiny, clear crystal beads. It flared into beautiful drapes at her hips and ended mid calf. Hermione smirked as she felt her hair style itself in an up do.

“You see? This is how I know I'm dreaming. Luna – or more likely, George Polyjuiced into Luna – cast a spell, which was probably to cover feeding me a chocolate laced with a potion to give one bizarre dreams. And now, my dress and hair change all by themselves.”

“Er... I rather hope you are wrong, since I'd hate for my wedding day to be a simple product of your dreams,” Lily stated with a hint of an amused smirk.

Hermione merely shrugged.

Since James had left the room to go help with Peter, Lily grinned and cast the spell that ended the glamour she'd cast so that the groom wouldn't be able to see it before the wedding. It wasn't too different than Hermione's – except that it was full length and had lacy sleeves that went to her wrists. The gown was actual white, didn't have crystal beads, but did have embroidery. It was so subtle that Hermione had to look hard to see it, but an extremely fine golden colored thread formed lilies in tiny clusters here and there.

Once Peter was awake and had been fed a hangover potion, they all made their way out to the nicely decorated back yard. Euphemia surveyed the yard in obvious pride. She caught Hermione's curious look and winked.

“I spent quite a bit of time making sure everything was perfect for my baby boy's wedding. I think it turned out rather well, what do you think?”

Hermione smiled at Euphemia. “I think it's lovely.”

Everyone got into position, standing in a half circle around James and Lily, who were standing in front of the Officiant. He was a kindly looking older man who smiled at everyone as if he considered them all his beloved grandchildren. James and Lily held hands and smiled at each other adoringly for a moment before nodding at the Officiant.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to unite this young couple in holy matrimony.”

Hermione felt more or less sober by this point, but even so, she was filled with a sense of surrealism. A wispy, dreamy quality that only served to reinforce how strange this dream was. Was Luna's spell trying to tell her that she was ready to get married after all? Considering that she was starting to feel a bit weepy with joy at watching one wedding and had agreed to get married as well, maybe she really was ready.

“I James Fleamont Potter take you to be my lawful wedded wife. Even though you are often too smart for your own good, you are the only one in my heart and I promise to love you for as long as we both shall live.”

Hermione couldn't help it; tears started pouring from her at those words. They were silent, thankfully, so after giving her a tender and sympathetic smile, the Officiant gestured for Lily to take her turn.

“I Lily Joy Evans take you to be my lawful wedded husband. Even though you are often a pain in the arse, you are the only one in my heart and I promise to love you for as long as we both shall live.”

They smiled at each other, holding hands again, hands that now bore their wedding rings. Hermione was interested to note that they were rather plain, all considering. She would have thought that – since this was just a dream – the rings would be huge and breathtaking, but no. When Sirius handed them over, she saw that James' was an unembellished gold band, while Lily's was a delicate gold band with an approximately quarter carat diamond. When the Officiant gave them permission, they kissed softly and tenderly for a moment before pulling apart with matching blushes.

The Officiant congratulated them, and then looked at Sirius. “As I understand it, you've also decided to get married.”

“Yes please,” Sirius replied with an eager grin. “But it was a last minute decision, so I don't have any vows prepared.”

“That's quite alright. A simple statement declaring your intentions to wed will suffice.”

Sirius turned to Hermione with a questioning look. Hermione simply nodded, subtly wiping the tears from her eyes. They stepped up to the Officiant while James and Lily took the place they'd been standing. Once again, the Officiant explained why they were there and gave a general blessing. Then he told Sirius to make his vows.

“I Sirius Orion Black take you to be my lawfully wedded wife. I know that this is sudden and that I never expected to get married, but from the first moment I saw you, I knew you were the one.”

Hermione smiled at him. “I Hermione Jean Granger take you to be my lawfully wedded husband. Yes, this is sudden and I really think I might be crazy, but you're so dreamy! I have hope that we could be really happy together.”

As they had spoken their vows, Sirius had slipped his family signet ring on her finger and cast a spell to resize it to fit her. She was only wearing one ring prior to that – an elegant gold band that resembled a signet ring in that it had a wide flat area that said HJG on it. It had been made for her by a famous jeweler witch shortly after the war and was neither feminine nor masculine. She resized it to fit Sirius' finger, and then they smiled at each other.

The officiant gave them permission to kiss, and once again, Sirius was so overcome by his emotions that he swept her into an exuberant hug and gave her a kiss that wasn't entirely appropriate in front of an audience. Hermione giggled when James cleared his throat significant to interrupt them.

With a fatherly pat on Sirius' shoulder, the Officiant gestured for the two couples to come closer to a podium that he conjured on the spot. On it were two parchments. The parchment on the left was the certificate that James and Lily needed to sign, and the one on the right was for Sirius and Hermione. The two couples took out their wands and signed with a spell that used their magical energy – making the signatures both binding and verifiable should they need to be in the future. A copy was made for each couple while the originals were taken to be filed with the Ministry.

After that, the Officiant bid them all a good day and Disapparated. Euphemia invited/ordered everyone to be seated for the feast she'd made. As they did, Hermione caught a heavy expression on Remus' face.
“What's wrong?” She asked as she took his hand in hers and gave it a gentle squeeze.

He shook his head and sighed. “Nothing... Just... I won't ever be able to get married. I didn't think that would bother me, but it does.”

Hermione grinned at him. “Of course you get married! Tonks is a lovely girl, by the way. She's funny because she can't stand her first name – Nymphadora – so even after you're married, you call her Tonks. Or Dora maybe. Your son is a sheer joy to be around, and he's inherited her metamorphmagus ability, but don't worry, he doesn't have your – er... Problem.”

Once again, no one could quite decide whether or not to believe her. Sirius smirked, still firmly telling himself that she was simply the best prankster he'd ever met. He also raised a brow. “My seven year old cousin?”

Hermione chuckled. “Well, obviously she's not seven when they get married. She's already an Auror and a member of the Order by then. Mad Eye loved her the most of all his students, as I understand it, so he often had the gall to call her by name, which never failed to make her hair and eyes turn bright red in anger.” She laughed.

Sirius shook his head in amusement. “These tales you spin are quite funny!”

Hermione smiled into her cup as she took a sip of wine, and then the room seemed to fade a bit, go wobbly, and then right itself. To her surprise, she was now alone with Sirius in a room she'd never seen but assumed must be his when he stayed with the Potters. Sirius was giving her an expectant look that was also rather amused.

“Something wrong? I assure you that there's a rather strong silencing charm on the room,” Sirius informed her with a cheeky grin.

Hermione chuckled softly. “Good to know. But no, I was wondering if I had gotten drunk again that I don't seem to remember how we got here.”

Sirius shook his head. “Not drunk, that I noticed. You only had one glass of wine. You also talked with Lily about something smart I just couldn't follow, so I assume that you were either having her on about Potions Theory, or you really are some sort of know-it-all.”

Hermione grinned at that. “Oh, I am.”

Sirius simply chuckled, and then kissed Hermione so possessively that she nearly forgot her name. He gasped in delight when her clothes simply fell off her. She chuckled and cast a spell to make his intangible for a moment so that they'd fall off too. With no reason to keep standing there, he swept her off her feet and carried her to bed.

Hermione was still oh so ready to be shagged good and proper. She returned his kisses with equal passion, which quickly made the room feel hot. Almost sweltering!

As wonderful as the snogging was, Hermione soon grew impatient. She pulled back from Sirius so that she could ask him a very important question about protection, but he surprised her by shifting his down in between her legs, and she completely forgot everything.

Sirius clearly had practiced this at some point. Hermione gasped repeatedly and clutched the sheets as his tongue rapidly made her feel like she was melting. And then writhing and thrashing back and forth. She bucked uncontrollably a couple of times, making him hold onto her hips firmly as he continued to lick circles and stripes over her clitoris until – with a feeling like she was shattering into a thousand pieces – she started squealing.

Her head spun from a glorious orgasm for a long time. So long that she didn't notice that Sirius had moved until he kissed her. At the same time, he slid into her with a motion that was meant to be smooth, but because she was so wet and slippery, ended rather abruptly. He inhaled in surprise at how good it felt to be deeply buried inside her.

“Oh yes,” Hermione cried out softly, digging her nails into his back and wiggling a bit to encourage him to move.

Sirius wanted to savor their first time together as long as possible, so he picked a slow but powerful pace to begin with. Hermione wrapped her legs around his at first, but then flattened her feet on the bed so that she could meet him thrust for thrust. As time went by, they got faster and faster until it felt like they were trying to throw each other off.

Hermione cried out “Ah!” With every thrust until even that became too much to focus on and she devolved into erotic moans. Meanwhile, Sirius gasped and grunted, surprising himself since he was normally fairly quiet during sex.

By the time that Sirius could hold back no longer, Hermione was squealing again, which astonished her because she'd never been able to orgasm from just penetration before. However, this was a dream and the sex was hotter than anything she'd had in a long time, so maybe it wasn't so surprising after all.
Sirius seemed to seize up, grinding into her as he pumped her full. Then he collapsed on top of her and nearly passed out as they panted from exertion and the aftermath of a brilliant climax. Hermione half purred as she stroked his back. A thought occurred to her, making her smirk.

I was right when I said that I needed to find someone for a one off who would shag me good and proper. I feel like I could sleep for the rest of the weekend and wake up ready to take on the world!

Eventually, Sirius realized that he wasn't going to fall asleep after all, so he lifted his head off her chest and stroked her face with his left hand. She smiled at him warmly, giving him a kiss by pulling his head closer to her with her left hand. Just when she thought they might be on their way to going again, he pulled back and playfully rolled her over so that he could massage her back with his hands as he kissed and licked her skin.

Hermione was definitely moaning and purring blissfully. Half of her wanted to go to sleep after all, and the other half wanted him to slip back inside her and take her on another wild ride. When he rolled her back over, she grabbed him to give him another lingering kiss, wiggling her hips to give him a clear invitation. Rather than take her up on it though, Sirius simply shifted his mouth to her neck.

He definitely left at least one love bite before shifting to suck on her nipples. Even as he did, his hands still massaged her quite skillfully. Just when he was licking a circle around her bellybutton – provoking Hermione to clench her fist in his hair and insist that he shag her already – something happened that made him pull back with a frown.

He ran his hand over her belly, then looked at her breasts. His frown got deeper, making her curious. She looked at her body to find that the lighting was making her look a bit transparent. Finding the idea ridiculous, she laced her left hand through his to remind him that they were married now and he had no reason to worry.

But then she remembered that she was actually dreaming and probably waking up. She even felt like she was disappearing now! As she faded, Sirius desperately tried to hold onto her. The last moment they had together was of a kiss that was also a frantic prayer for them to stay together.

Suddenly, Hermione opened her eyes and looked around her bedroom. As she thought, she'd been dreaming and was now awake. To her surprise, Luna was sitting on a chair reading a book.

“Are you actually Luna, or are you George Polyjuiced into Luna?”

Luna laughed musically. “I'm Luna, although I can see why you'd ask that. I take it my spell gave you what you needed after all? You were certainly gone long enough.”

Hermione frowned in confusion. “Gone?”

Luna nodded. “Yep, all night. I was beginning to wonder if I'd cast the spell wrong and it had actually sent you somewhere too far to come back from without a Portkey.”

“Where do you think I went?” Hermione wondered, scratching her head and wondering if she were still dreaming after all.

“I have no idea. The spell was simply meant to send you wherever you needed to be in order to get what you needed most at that moment,” Luna replied with a shrug.

“So... like a muggle club where I could meet someone to have a one off? Someone who would be willing to shag me good and proper?”

“Is that what you were hoping for?” Luna asked with interest. “That would certainly make sense since you were talking about orgasms just before I cast the spell.”

“So... you put me into a dream where I arrived at a muggle club wearing next to nothing and met the Marauders having fun at James' stag do. The fact that I married Sirius must just simply have been my mind's way of telling me that I'm ready for marriage after all, and also to give a bit of romance to the wonderful shagging.”

Luna was staring at her with an expression that no one had ever seen her wear before. Astonishment. “You... married Sirius Black?!”

Hermione giggled. “Well, in my dream, yes. Not for real, of course.”

Luna stared at her with slightly bulging eyes. “Hermione... It was real...”

Hermione laughed and shook her head as she sat up in her bed. “Oh sure and...” She faltered when she brushed some of her bushy hair out of her face and noticed that she was wearing a ring on her left ring finger. It was the Black family signet ring that Sirius had given her!

She turned her hand to show Luna. “Tell me you're joking! Tell me that you conjured this to put one over on me!”

Luna simply shook her head, still looking wide eyed in surprise, which really was a state so rare for her that Hermione wasn't sure it had ever happened before. That only served to make Hermione think that Luna had to be pulling a prank of some sort. She quickly pulled her wand out from under her pillow and cast a spell to reveal if it really was George in disguise. It wasn't, but if it had been, she'd have had to murder him for sitting in her room while she was stark naked.

Luna recovered fairly quickly from her shock and started giggling merrily. She levitated a handheld mirror to Hermione. “Looks like it really was a good shag.”

Hermione stared at the love bite with a feeling like yep! She was definitely still dreaming. Before she could think to pinch herself, an owl arrived with a letter. Luna paid the owl and gave it a treat before handing the letter to Hermione.

The envelope simply said: Hermione Jean Granger. Inside was a letter that turned out to be folded around a small photograph – that she set aside to look at later.

Dear Hermione, I am writing this letter because I have just finished writing up my Will leaving everything to my godson if the worst should happen, and it occurred to me that – for the same reason, but hopefully not – I should tell you something important. I've instructed my lawyer to have this letter arrive the morning after your 23rd birthday, so.. Happy birthday!

The first thing you should know is that when you disappeared, I really thought you were just playing a joke on me. I loved you for it even as I was desperate to get you back. I kept waiting for you to return, and then I finally decided to look for you. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that the only Hermione Jean Granger in existence was a baby who had just been born to muggles. And just like that, I believed every word you'd said to me.

My lawyer at the time assured me that – despite the unusual circumstances – the marriage was still valid, unless I chose to annul it. I didn't because I couldn't imagine ever marrying anyone else. Then life rushed by rather quickly, and well... You know what happened. When I was first thrown in Azkaban, I spent months wondering how you could have told us so much about the future and still managed to avoid warning us about the truly important things. I wanted to be furious with you for not telling me to beware of Wormtail. But then I realized that you knew he was a traitorous bastard, and were still kind to him anyway. Strangely, it made me love you all the more.

Then Azkaban stole all my happy memories and I actually forgot all about you. It wasn't until I saw you for the first time in Grimmauld Place that I remembered what had happened. I hadn't been back in my mind long enough when you and Harry rescued me and Buckbeak to remember, so I asked Remus about you, but he had also forgotten and could only tell me about you as his student. When I reminded him that I'd married you, he admitted that he'd half convinced himself that my marriage was a product of his hangover. He said the only thing he truly remembered about you on that day was when you insisted that Harry eventually wins the war. That little tidbit has filled us both with the hope that everything turns out alright in the end.

In the meantime, I've decided to wait patiently for you to grow up. I have plans to make you fall in love with me again the moment you come of age, but I'm not as confident as I once was. In the event that I never gather up the courage to tell you what happened, this letter will hopefully serve as a reminder to both of us that I am yours for as long as I live, and if you still want me – even though I am an old man now – I'd be delighted to marry you all over again.

Forever yours, Sirius.

Hermione covered her mouth to hold back an anguished sob as she let the letter fall to the bed. With a sense of horror, she picked up the photo. It was covered by a note that said: Euphemia took this and it was buried with everything else James wanted to keep hidden when he sold his childhood home and bought a place he hoped would be safe. I recovered everything and hid it in Grimmauld Place to be saved for when Harry is ready to know more about his parents and grandparents. Even so, I am including this in my letter in case you need a reminder of the best day of my life. Love, S.

Hermione was almost afraid to look at the photo, but a morbid curiosity practically forced her to. It was hard to see through the tears, but it was a clear shot of her standing hand in hand with Sirius in front of the Officiant. The picture also captured the rather passionate kiss that sealed their vows. It was a bittersweet moment to her now, considering what she knew.

“I've been a widow for seven years and never even knew I was married!” She wailed before burying her head in her arms around her knees, which were pulled to her chest, and sobbing.

Luna climbed into Hermione's bed and rubbed her back comfortingly. “I'm sorry. If I'd known this would happen, I would have made sure you knew it was not a dream.”

Slowly, Hermione stopped crying and wiped her tears away. “I suppose I'm being silly. It's not like I truly loved him. I thought I was having a dream, and you're right, I got what I wanted, which was a brilliant shag. If I focus on that, it's actually rather sweet. In a way. I'm probably going to have to keep thinking of it as a particularly wonderful dream and leave it at that.”

Luna simply hummed soothingly. She continued to hold and hug her friend until Hermione felt better. A loud growl made them both laugh.

“I guess I'm hungry,” Hermione said with a chuckle. “I'd even swear I smell something good.

“Hmm... I smell something too...” Luna replied with a puzzled frown that quickly turned to a serene smile.

“Oi! 'Mione! Get your arse out of bed and come eat this feast I made!” Harry called out from her kitchen.

“Yes,” Hermione hissed happily because Harry's cooking was better by far than anyone else she knew, with the exception of Molly. She slipped out of bed and pulled on a bathrobe, not caring that Draco was probably out there too. And possibly Ron.

She and Luna held hands because Hermione still felt a bit sad and wanted the comfort. When they entered the kitchen they discovered that she was right; Draco and Ron sat at opposite ends of her oval table as Harry dished them up. Everyone cast her and Luna a curious glance, especially since she didn't let Luna go when she gave Harry a tight and lingering hug.

“You are the best friend ever,” she praised as they kissed each other on the cheek.

“Of course I am,” Harry responded with a cheeky grin.

“So, er...” Ron began and then cleared his throat. “Are you and Luna dating now?”

Hermione couldn't tell if he was disappointed by the possibility of her dating, or relieved that she hadn't found a boyfriend. She decided to tease him rather mercilessly. “Nope! Luna simply decided to give me a glorious orgasm for my birthday!”

“And a brilliant shag,” Luna added with an impish smirk and a shrug.

Ron flushed as a look crossed his face that announced he was thinking this over very carefully. He didn't seem to find the prospect upsetting at all. Rather the opposite actually. Hermione chuckled and leaned over to kiss Luna on the cheek so that she could whisper in her ear.

“He has the entirely wrong idea.”

Luna giggled and nodded in agreement, but didn't feel the need to correct Ron. Nor did Hermione. They both simply shook their heads, taking a seat next to each other and grinning as Harry dished them up.

“Sorry I didn't get a chance to open any of your presents last night. Luna arrived just after I got home from work and distracted me with my present from her before I could open any others.” She then turned to give Luna a very serious look. “You know, your present did something rather unexpected for me.”

Harry raised an amused brow. “Made you realize that you're bent?”

Hermione laughed softly. “No! It made me realize that I actually am ready to be married soonish, and that I don't want to put off having a life and a family just so I can work myself to death. First thing Monday, I'm going to hire an assistant or two so I can delegate my excess work – like the Head of a Department should do.”

“Good for you!” Harry cheered with a smile.

“Wait!” Ron blurted out. “Marry who?” He couldn't help but cast a wary glance at Luna as he asked this.

Hermione gave him a significant look for a couple of seconds before shrugging. “Whoever has the courage to ask me, I suppose.”

“Oh...” Ron murmured, suddenly very speculative.

With a soft chuckle, Hermione changed the subject by asking Draco about the latest potion he was working on. This of course started a conversation that Hermione and Luna had no trouble following, but left Harry and Ron a bit lost. Suddenly, Hermione tilted her head and frowned at Harry.

“How is it that you're not a Potions Master too? Your grandfather Fleamont Potter created Sleekeazy Hair Potion, which earned the Potter fortune, and your mother was brilliant enough at potions to be part of Slughorn's club.”

Harry shrugged. “I probably could have been if I wanted, but I had other things I wanted to learn more.”

“Ah,” Hermione admitted with a nod.

Continue to Part 2
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