Fest Fic: Let's Do This Together, PG-13
Mar. 25th, 2017 07:59 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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hp_bunintheovenTitle: Let's Do This Together
Author/Artist:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
roxannepackard
Pairing(s): Harry/Draco
Prompt: #S54
Summary: Separately, both Harry and Draco come to the conclusion that they want/need a child, and then they get together to make it happen.
Word Count: ~6700
Rating: Teen and up, sorry, lol!
Warnings/Contains: N/A
Notes:
Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Harry sat staring silently into the fire. He was going to be 25 in a few months. He was already a full fledged Auror and his case load had calmed down enough that he worked a mostly normal schedule. Which meant that he had time to think about other things. Such as how badly he wanted to be a father.
Sure! He could wait until he found the right person to marry and have kids then, but... Well... What if that never happened? He had really thought it was going to be Ginny there for a while, but – as it turned out – he was truly and utterly gay. Having sex with her had rapidly become a chore that he made any excuse to avoid. The really sad thing was that he did love her as deeply as he would a wife, but... It just wasn't enough.
“What are you thinking about?” Hermione asked softly, breaking into his thoughts.
He turned to look at his two best friends, and then shrugged. “I just... I want kids.”
“Right now?” Ron asked in mild fascination.
Harry nodded in confirmation. “Yeah actually. I feel like I'm missing my kids with a bone deep ache that I just can't ignore.”
“Oh Harry,” Hermione said with a soft and sympathetic sigh. She reached over and took his hand to give it a squeeze. “I'd help but I think that probably wouldn't work out well in the long run.”
“What do you mean?” Ron asked suspiciously.
Hermione chuckled and pointed at him. “Exactly that, Ron. I think that even if I carried a child for Harry as a surrogate, we'd get so attached to the baby that we'd want to be co-parents, and then that would cause arguments and jealousy and...” She shook her head. “It's best to just avoid that whole mess.”
“Yeah,” Harry agreed softly. Besides, he couldn't think of any way that she'd manage to end up as his surrogate that didn't involve acts a gay man didn't like to think about. Acts that would piss Ron off even if he claimed to be in agreement. Yeah... no.
Harry considered for one full second that maybe it was time to tell them that he was gay. Then he could ask Hermione for help figuring out a better solution. But then he mentally shook his head. Knowing Hermione, she'd come up with something both crazy and embarrassing – such as turning into a woman for a year or so. No thanks!
Ron seemed to come to the conclusion that it would be in his best interest to firmly change the focus of a surrogate away from his beloved. “Still not really a problem, mate. There's hundreds – actually, probably thousands of witches who would kill to carry your child for you!”
“Er...” Harry droned for a second. “Well, yeah, but then what? Think about that for a moment. Say I interview all willing witches until I find one that I think will be willing to carry my baby for the right reasons – being that I want a baby of my own and she can provide me with one – only to find out that she was really good at hiding her plans to try to keep the baby and use it against me. And even if I find one that I can trust to give me the baby afterwards and not try to use it against me, she's probably going to want a big reward or the rights to tell her story in a book so she can make money off it.” He ended in a frustrated sigh.
Ron shrugged. “So insist that she make an unbreakable vow beforehand that she won't use the baby against you or try to make a profit off the experience. I'm not sure it would be fair to deny her a reward though.”
Harry nodded to admit he had a point with that last bit. “Maybe... Too bad I can't just do it all myself.”
“What? Get yourself pregnant?” Ron asked in amusement.
“Well... yeah...” Harry murmured.
Hermione smiled at him, and since she was still holding his hand, she squeezed it again. “Actually, you can. Sort of. If you found someone willing to donate his sperm and took a fertility potion, you could get pregnant without anyone else involved. Muggles have 'banks' for women to buy donor sperm, so it's definitely doable.”
Ron wore a thoughtful look as he nodded. “Yeah, don't know why I didn't think of that sooner, but a potion could solve your problem. I'd even be willing to – er no. I'd be willing to ask Charlie to donate some sperm for you. He's gay so he probably wouldn't mind at all having someone use his sperm to create a child he'd otherwise never have. Might want visitation rights or something though.”
“That could work,” Harry murmured in speculation. “But let me think about it some more. If I decide to do that, I can ask him myself.” Then he huffed in mild surprise. “Didn't know that Charlie was gay though.”
Ron shrugged. “Well he hasn't made a fuss about it or anything. Everyone just believes that he's too much of a nutter for Dragons to think about people, but he's always been interested in blokes. Probably has at least one lover amongst all those other nutters he works with in Romania.”
Harry sighed a bit morosely. “I can think of one problem with all of this...”
“What?” Hermione asked, clearly ready to come up with a solution for him.
“Well... As much as I'd rather do this all on my own as opposed to with a complete stranger, I was sort of hoping that I would find someone to do this with. Even if I asked Charlie and he was willing and wanted to have visitation, he lives in Romania, so we wouldn't exactly be raising the baby together. And... well... shouldn't a baby have two parents? Shouldn't a baby have a real family?”
“Oh Harry...” Hermione sighed in sympathy. “Yeah. In an ideal world, a baby should. Which is why you should probably wait until you can give that to your kids.”
Then Hermione smirked impishly at Ron. “Unless, of course, Ron gets over his squeamishness and donates to the cause after all. Then the baby really would have two parents who know how to get along.”
Ron rolled his eyes at her. “How is that any different than you carrying a baby for him? You already said that would probably be disastrous!”
She chuckled because she hadn't changed her mind on that, she was just trying to wind her fiancé up. Harry squeezed her hand as he laughed almost silently. They just loved playing jokes on Ron because he worked with George and often played jokes on them.
But then Harry frowned. “You know, as much as I understand what you are talking about – how it would probably be a bad idea in the long run – you two really are just about the only people I trust to have kids with.”
Ron sighed in exaggerated capitulation. “Fine! If I must...”
Both Harry and Hermione laughed and shook their heads at the obviously fake put upon expression on Ron's face. Maybe I could tell him I was gay after all, Harry mused. Only, no. Not into him. It would feel too much like having sex with my brother.
***
“Son...”
“Dad,” Draco ground out in frustration. “I'm only 24 for Salazar's sake! There's still plenty of time to work on an heir! Hell! My Healer assures me that I'm going to be highly fertile for at least the next 50 or 60 years! He's deeply impressed, I assure you.”
Lucius chuckled despite trying to remain firm. “That may be true, and a Malfoy trait, but just think about that for a moment. There's a reason that your mother and I don't have another child.”
“You can't stand the thought of shagging her at your age?” Draco supplied helpfully.
Lucius gave him a flat look. “Do you really want me to respond to that honestly?”
Draco looked definitely queasy as he desperately tried to shove the sudden mental images out of his mind. “No!” He blurted out, holding his hands up like a shield as he fervently shook his head.
Lucius chuckled again. “I thought not. No, the real reason that your mother and I don't want to have another child at this point is that you're an adult now, and having children really is best left to the young. Yes, that means that even though we would have plenty of time to devote to a child, we wouldn't have the energy. But it also means subjecting someone completely innocent to all the slander that is associated with our name. As an adult, you can handle it, but what about a child?”
Draco scoffed incredulously. “That's exactly my point! If I had a child, he or she would be subjected to all that slander as well!”
Lucius shook his head. “I don't think so. You are just barely acknowledged as a sort of very minor hero of the war. When people sling figurative mud at you, it's because you are my son, since it's widely known that I was most definitely not innocent in the war. I truly think that – especially by the time he or she is old enough to go to Hogwarts – your child will mostly be accepted or ignored as innocent. A Malfoy, yes, but your child. Not mine.”
Draco groaned and rolled his head around on his shoulders as it occurred to him that his father was not going to let this matter drop. But he also didn't want to agree to anything yet because, well... Because even if people did accept his child as more or less innocent, the child would still be influenced just by having Lucius as a grandfather. Which could potentially be a disaster!
“Fine, I'll think about it,” Draco capitulated.
“Excellent! I'll tell your mother and she can contact the Greengrasses to see if they're interested in arranging a marriage between one of their daughters and you,” Lucius stated in triumph. He didn't even attempt to hide it either, the bastard!
Draco sighed, feeling as if all the fight had just left him. “I'll be in my room,” he muttered as he walked away.
“Oh cheer up!” Lucius called after him. “Being married is actually rather relaxing!”
“Right...” Draco drawled sarcastically, half hoping that his father wouldn't hear him. A chuckle let him know that he probably had.
***
Draco kicked a footstool across his bedroom with a roar, knowing that his silencing spell would prevent his parents from hearing it.
“Problem?” Snape asked with a snide sneer from where he hung on the wall. Why Draco had ever agreed to accept a copy of the portrait was beyond him, although, it was thankfully rare for Snape to come visit him.
“My father insists that I marry and have an Heir, even though I am gay and the thought of touching a woman makes me shudder in horror!” Draco shouted, not caring that Snape was – yep, he was now gaping at Draco in astonishment.
“You are?” That came out in a tone that Draco was fairly sure no one had ever heard from him in real life.
“Yep! I'm so gay that I'd even beg you to shag me in every way possible before I considered having sex with a woman!”
Snape actually blushed at that before growling softly. “There's no need to be crude, Draco.”
“Why shouldn't I be?! My life is practically over now!”
Snape sighed in aggravation. “Stop being such a drama queen – although, now that I think about it, this certainly explains a few things.” His expression rapidly changed from introspection to that of arrogant distaste. “If you want to marry a man, simply tell your father that and marry one.”
“Oh sure! Like it's really going to be that easy. I'll just put an advert in the Prophet, shall I? Poncy pureblood prince seeks wizard to marry him and have heirs. Must not mind the occasional attempt against his life.”
Snape gave Draco his infamous look. The same one that was usually reserved for Harry Potter and any student that wasn't a Slytherin. “I refuse to talk to you when you're in this mood.”
Draco harrumphed derisively.
Snape turned to leave, but then paused. “So don't get married. Use your considerable skill at making potions to Polyjuice yourself into someone else, and then take a fertility potion and entice someone into a one off.”
This thought actually made Draco grin in amusement. “Are you really supposed to advise your students to do such things?”
“You are no longer my student,” Snape sneered disdainfully. “My sole concern now is advising you on those things that typical Slytherins might use to get what they want.”
“Hmm...” Draco murmured as he stroked his chin in thought. “You know, that's not actually a bad idea. Then I don't have to suffer the humiliation of trying to approach a half blood – or worse! A muggleborn!”
“There's always muggles and squibs,” Snape jibed mercilessly.
Draco flat out snorted at that. “Because yes, provoking my father into killing me is exactly what I want.”
With a shrug, Snape disappeared, leaving his portrait completely black.
***
Draco found that he just didn't want to wait to brew the potions himself. Once the idea took root, he wanted to get it done and over with as soon as possible. Just as he added a fertility potion to the basket containing a flask of Polyjuice, he turned and nearly yelped in surprise.
“I'm surprised to see you buying potions, Malfoy.”
“Potter,” Draco muttered as he rapidly tried to gain control of his expression.
Harry looked over to the shelf of potions that Draco had just shopped from. “Er...” He tilted his head to the side curiously. “I can see why I would need a fertility potion, but why do you?”
Draco felt strangely thrown by this question. “Wait, why do you? Your Weaselette not as talented at making babies as her mother?”
Harry glared at Draco. “Watch it! And no, I'm not interested in Ginny like that. I'm currently gathering up all my options, one of which is a fertility potion to have a baby myself – although finding a donor I can... Why am I explaining this to you???”
Draco was now biting his lip in thought. “Shockingly, it sounds like we might actually be in the same situation.”
“Say what?” Harry asked in surprise.
Draco nodded cautiously. “My father is pressuring me to get married and have an Heir, but I would rather be given to Greyback as punishment again before marrying a witch.” The moment he realized what he'd said, he pressed his lips together and looked away. “Anyway, maybe we could help each other.”
Harry was too stunned to say anything for a long moment. “You were...” he faltered, paling.
Draco took a deep breath and prepared to face the look of unbearable sympathy on Harry's face. “Not to worry, I'm not a werewolf. Not even the Dark Lord wanted that. Although Greyback probably did. It happened a long time ago, so please just forget I said anything. More importantly –”
“No wait, hang on!” Harry held his hands up and shook them to interrupt Draco. “When exactly did this happen? He's still in Azkaban as the Ministry is not quite sure whether or not to have all the former Death Eaters Kissed. I could discretely urge Kingsley to push forward with his punishment.”
Draco sighed and rubbed his head. “I'd actually rather not think about it. Any of it. At all.”
“Er... right...” Harry murmured in reluctant acceptance.
“As I was saying. We could help each other out. I'll, er, donate to your cause and you can donate to mine. Then we both have what we want, and since we also want nothing to do with each other, we won't have to worry about inconvenient meddling,” Draco explained his proposition.
Harry pinched his chin and looked to the ceiling as he thought about this. “That could work, except, well...”
Draco tried to wait patiently for Harry to finish his sentence, but patience wasn't exactly his strong suit. “Except what?” He prompted with an insistent roll of his hand.
“Would you be adverse to shared custody?” Harry asked, then added: “I have mine during the week, and both every other weekend. Or actually, maybe it might work better for you to have them each day while I'm at work, and then I can have them each night when I come home and at least one full day each weekend.”
Draco was nearly gobsmacked. “You want to share your child with me?”
“Well yeah...” Harry trailed off and looked around. There wasn't anyone else in the shop since Harry had purposely picked a time when he wasn't likely to be spied on by a crowd. Even so, there could be eavesdroppers. He cast a powerful silencing charm around them.
Then he took a deep breath. “You know I was orphaned as a baby, but you might not know that I was raised by muggles that hated me and tried their best to make me as miserable as possible. I wasn't beaten or raped or anything like that, but I was locked up, starved from time to time, and told that I was a worthless freak. So – if at all possible – I want my kids to have two loving parents. And... each other.”
Draco was silent as he thought this over very carefully. Ever since he had decided to take Snape's advice and trick a stranger into getting him up the duff, he had resigned himself to having just one child, but if he agreed to Harry's counterproposal, he'd have two. Possibly more.
He cleared his throat. “What if... if we find that we actually can share our children decently well; what if one of us eventually wants another?”
Harry smiled at that. “To tell you the truth, I always wanted a big family like the Weasleys – full of love and laughter.”
“Let's not get carried away!” Draco blurted out in alarm, actually taking a step back.
Harry chuckled and shook his head wryly. “In any case, I suppose that – if we manage to be decent co-parents – we could have more in the future.”
Draco held up his hands. “Alright, I know this was my idea, but why would you agree to it?”
Harry gave him a long blank look before biting his lip for a second. “Well, at least with you, I know you don't give a fuck about my fame. I know that if I piss you off, you'll shout at me honestly and hex me into next week, rather than go behind my back and print all the sordid details in the Prophet – or at least I hope you won't do that since you now know what it's like to be badmouthed by the media.” He then shrugged. “And even if we can't get along, at least we'll both have what we want – as you originally suggested. It's sort of win-win.”
Draco nodded in agreement. “Alright. So how do you want to do this?”
Harry shrugged again. “However you want. We can simply donate to each other's cause – as you said – or since you're gay (which I had no idea about, by the way) and I'm gay, we could always do it the, er, fun way.”
Draco felt his eyes go wide as he stood there unable to react in any way for what felt like an eternity. Harry had to actually snap him out of it by literally snapping his fingers in front of Draco's face.
“Alright there, Malfoy?”
Draco shook off his shock, and then nodded. “Yeah, just... surprised. I had no idea either. I didn't expect that at all.”
“So...” Harry prompted gently.
“The fun way?” Draco asked with a hint of a grin, trying hard not to sound too interested.
Harry grinned in return. “I was rather hoping you'd say that.”
“So... now?” Draco wondered curiously, again trying not to sound like he was eager. Even though he was. About as eager as a Crup hearing his food being dished up from across the entire Malfoy estate and dropping everything to run like a greyhound to the kitchen.
“Oh... more like five minutes from now. Also later tonight. Tomorrow morning, and probably just after lunch to be absolutely sure we gave it out best effort,” Harry replied with an indifferent shrug.
Draco didn't even try to hide how he went crossed eyed at that. “Yes please!”
***
“Er, mate? Are you aware that you're staring off dreamily at the hairball that Crookshanks just vomited up?” Ron asked with a raised brow.
Harry chuckled and focused on his best friends. Hermione looked like she was biting her tongue to remind herself to wait for Harry to say it himself. He rolled his eyes at her.
“Sorry, didn't mean to get lost in thought,” he apologized.
Ron snorted in amusement. “Last time that happened, I ended up agreeing to be the donor father of your future sprogs. Please tell me that you're not expecting that to happen right this second!”
Harry shook his head. “Good news, I found someone else.”
“Oh thank Merlin!” Ron blurted out in relief. “Is it Charlie? Because if it is and you sort of decide to be together, I won't freak out or anything like that.”
Harry tilted his head and gave Ron a confused look.
“What?” Ron asked with a frown. “Like I didn't figure it out when you spent ages trying to figure out how to have a baby by yourself with a bloke rather than find a witch – such as Luna, who you know would try to summon rocks from the moon if you asked her to.”
“Er...” Huh... Ron had a point. Luna would have totally done it, and Harry would have actually trusted her to do so. Plus, Luna would have made a wonderful mother for Harry's children.
Ron shrugged. “Not to mention that you've been really happy the last couple of weeks, and so, I'm thinking that you found a bloke you like. Still not sure about the baby thing though. Wouldn't it be a bit soon to bring that up with someone you just met?”
Harry exhaled in profound relief. “I should have known that the two of you would accept me, even gay.”
“I think another clue was when you broke up with Ginny and I overheard her complaining that you never looked at her like you wanted to drag her to bed and shag the hell out of her,” Ron added as he looked to the ceiling in thought.
Hermione chuckled. “I wondered if you'd heard that, Ron. Ginny was pretty sure that you fancied blokes, Harry, ever since the time you two went to a Quidditch match together and she caught you drooling over a rather fit Chaser that looked a bit like Oliver Wood.”
Harry smiled fondly at the memory, even moaning very softly in appreciation. “Yes... I remember that. I think I tried to pretend that I was simply amazed by his skill, but she merely shrugged and changed the subject.”
“Alright, so now that we've finally discussed the Hippogriff in the room, can we please get back to this new bloke you're seeing?” Ron asked, inexplicably curious as to who had caught Harry's attention.
Harry bit his lip and looked away. “Do we have to talk about that? Can't we just say that I took a fertility potion, got up the duff, and leave it at that?”
“You wha?!” Ron blurted out, bug-eyed from shock.
“Oh Harry!” Hermione cried out in delight as she threw her arms around him.
“But. But. But,” Ron stuttered. “So soon?”
Harry nodded with a soft smile. “He really wanted a baby right away too, so we agreed to get each other pregnant. We're going to try to work together as co-parents, but even if we can't get along, we promised not to interfere with each other's child, so it looks to be a good situation all around.”
Hermione bit her lip to stop from saying anything, but then gave in anyway. “Please tell us who – especially if you plan to keep seeing him.”
Harry sighed in defeat. “You're not going to like it.”
Ron – having recovered from his shock remarkably quickly – snorted in amusement. “No matter who it is, he can't be as bad as that ferret Malfoy!”
“Well...” Harry trailed off as he looked away and scratched the back of his neck. Ron was gaping at him in pure shock again.
Hermione – on the other hand – was torn between being certain that Harry was joking, and (very strangely) impressed that Harry had found someone that would actually be able to treat Harry as a person, as opposed to a celebrity. She grinned and laughed almost silently. Slowly, she nodded in acceptance.
“Malfoy, eh?” She kissed him on the cheek. “I can see that working out surprisingly well. His family is close knit and very big on family.”
“I'll admit that occurred to me,” Harry said with a smile.
***
“Draco, darling, are you feeling well?” Narcissa asked her son in concern.
“I'm just a bit nauseous is all,” Draco admitted dismissively.
“Come now, surely the prospect of meeting with your potential future bride isn't that bad,” Lucius murmured as he took a sip of his rich and creamy tea.
“That's today?!” Draco blurted out in alarm. His stomach took a definite turn for the worse and he barely had time to conjure a bag before he was filling it with something that tasted like carrots as it came up.
This actually gave Lucius pause. “Is meeting with your potential future bride that bad?”
“Yes!” Draco cried out in between heaves, then managed to add: “But that's not why I'm –” He cut himself off by adding more to the bag. Seriously, when was the last time I even ate carrots???
A house elf popped in just then to hand him a stomach settling potion, which Draco downed with profound relief. He rubbed his stomach with a sigh as he handed the full bag to the house elf – who promptly vanished it.
Lucius couldn't decide whether to be amused or sympathetic. “As I've said, being married is actually rather relaxing. There's no need to work yourself into such a state.”
Draco gave him a look that was apathetic at best, and probably more of a sarcastic grimace than anything. “It's not marriage I'm opposed to. And as I said, that's not why I'm sick.”
“The muggle flu perhaps?” Narcissa suggested, preparing to summon a Pepper-up Potion to cure it.
“No. I've contracted a condition that will last for approximately another nine months. I'm told that I'll feel rather nauseous and vomit with no rhyme or reason for the next two or so months, and then I'll get positively ravenous and grow rather fat, and then...” Draco trailed off to think about what would come next. He had a finger pressed to his lips as he stared vaguely at his plate.
“Er... that sounds...” Narcissa began, glancing at her husband to see if he was thinking the same thing. Lucius looked like he was mentally scrolling through a list of possible illnesses and coming up empty. “Like you're...”
Draco smiled at her. “The illness culminates in an emergency trip to St. Mungo's – or perhaps calling for a Healer to attend me here – followed by an excessive amount of crying and frequent messes to clean up.”
“Wait,” Lucius held a hand up, his face scrunched up in confusion. “This is starting to sound fairly serious.”
“Oh yes. I expect it'll affect me for the rest of my life – or at least the next 17 to 20 years or so,” Draco added with a serious nod.
Narcissa had definitely caught on by now because she was biting her lip to hold back laughter and glancing back and forth between her son and husband. Part of her wanted to let Lucius in on the joke, but the rest of her wanted to see how long before Lucius figured it out for himself.
“Yes, I think I've heard of this condition,” she murmured sagely. “It's the one where you won't be able to sleep for at least the first year or so, and then you'll still frequently pace the floor with worry. Nearly every day, you'll have to sit on your hands to stop yourself from hovering excessively. You'll be terrified that something will happen during the night – that breathing will stop for no apparent reason.”
“Truly?” Draco asked in dismay. “I wasn't aware of that. That sounds frightful, actually.”
Lucius was giving his wife a highly suspicious look. “It's starting to sound like you're describing the way I felt for about the first five years after Draco was born.”
“Ah. Does it?” Narcissa asked innocently.
“Wait, you were afraid I'd stop breathing for five years? Was I sickly?” Draco asked in concern.
“Not at all,” Narcissa assured him. “Simply that babies are known for dying unexpectedly for no reason. It's not such a problem for magical babies, but still... it happens. Parents can't help but be afraid of it.”
“Is there anything that can be done to make sure it doesn't happen?” Draco asked, unconsciously pressing one hand to his chest.
“Monitoring spells on the crib are fairly effective. The one you slept in as a baby has been in the family for centuries and hasn't lost a baby yet. It's spelled and warded to deal with every possible situation,” Narcissa explained.
“I should have a house elf bring it to my room so that I can get a good look at it,” Draco murmured with a soft smile.
“Now wait just a minute!” Lucius half shouted. “Why does it sound like the two of you are talking about expecting a baby?!”
Draco gave him a smug smirk that positively radiated merriment. It took Lucius a moment to realize that Draco wasn't going to laugh and cry out: “Gotcha!” Lucius pointed at his son accusingly.
“You're having me on, aren't you? You and your mother plotted an attempt to murder me today, only I can't figure out what I've done recently to deserve it.”
“Who said it was recent?” Draco asked curiously.
“Please tell me that you're not still angry about the time that I gave you the wrong color shirt for Christmas,” Lucius nearly begged, rubbing his head in an attempt to ward off a headache.
Draco growled at him. “Why wouldn't I be? Really! That shade of green with this complexion?! It would have been like wearing a baby's diaper!”
“Oh no darling! As you'll soon find out, baby's diapers are usually more yellowish until they start eating solid food and turn brown,” Narcissa informed him helpfully.
“Mother! Not while I'm finally trying to eat!” Draco protested as he held a fork about halfway to his mouth.
Lucius leapt to his feet and stared at Draco in astonishment. “Merlin and Salazar! You're serious?!?!”
Draco nodded quite solemnly.
“But! But! But,” Lucius felt like his head was spinning and collapsed back into his seat. “How??? When?! WHO?!?!”
Draco smirked rather evilly. “Are you sure you don't want to know a highly detailed account of what happened and where it happened as well? I think I can safely assume that you'll figure out the why all on your own.”
Lucius didn't know whether to be impressed or affronted by his son's attitude. “You cheeky little bastard...” he praised gruffly.
Draco feigned deep offense over that. “I beg to differ, my parents were most certainly married!”
Lucius snorted in amusement even as Narcissa chuckled. But then – almost as if they had practiced it at some point – they sighed in unison. It was a foreboding sound to Draco's ears.
“So... you plan to have this baby on your own and be the first Malfoy in centuries to have an illegitimate Heir?” Narcissa asked as Lucius summoned a parchment so that he could owl the Greengrasses a cancellation notice.
“If I have to,” Draco answered with a shrug. “I'm still hoping that I can talk him into marriage if for no other reason than to prevent nosy busybodies from calling either of our children bastards.”
Lucius paused in his note writing to stare at Draco once more. Even Narcissa seemed at a loss for words for a moment. Then she cleared her throat. “Both?”
Draco nodded. “Yes. He wanted a child too, and since I needed an Heir to hopefully make you see that I don't need to marry some witch after all, we agreed to give each other what we wanted.”
Lucius held his breath until the urge to shout had passed. “Son... if all this time, the problem has been that you simply prefer to marry a man, you could have just told us that. We could have looked in the right direction.”
Draco snorted derisively. “You forget, I went to school with the majority of the eligible wizards from the right families, so I already know who would be amenable to marrying me, and Blaise is pretty much my only pureblooded option. Call me vain, but I'd prefer that if I got married, it would be to someone who doesn't consider marriage as a convenient booty call at best, and an inconvenient hindrance to playing around at worst. He takes after his mother and would probably be on at least his third marriage by now if he had bothered to go through with any of them. That said, he does actually like me enough to marry and stay married to me while he shags everyone who crosses his path,” Draco ended with a shrug.
“Er...” Lucius frowned and tried to come up with a good reply to that.
“So, perhaps simply being a pureblood wizard isn't the most important requirement,” Narcissa interjected diplomatically.
“But, wait... If you didn't choose a pureblood wizard – or did you? You said that Blaise likes you enough to marry you, and you also said that you hope to marry the father of your child to avoid the stigma of illegitimacy...”
“No.” Draco took a deep breath. “You're not going to like this.” He then purposely focused on eating and drinking for a few silent moments.
Lucius used the time to finish his note and send it off before unconsciously tapping on the table from impatience. Narcissa waved away the house elf that wanted to refill her now empty tea cup. She plastered an extremely patient look on her face.
“Is he a,” she couldn't help but flinch ever so slightly. “Muggleborn?”
“No. He's more pureblood than not. Sort of three quarter blood as I understand it,” Draco replied, still paying more attention to his plate than strictly necessary.
Both Lucius and Narcissa exhaled in relief at that. “Alright. We can work with that,” Lucius assured his son. “That means that the purity of your unborn child – er children – is so minutely diluted that it's negligible.”
“So, what exactly won't we like about this man of yours?” Narcissa wondered.
“Well,” Draco paused to take a leisurely sip of his tea. “He's someone that our family has severely disliked for many years.”
“The Dark Lord?” Narcissa asked in amusement, trying to lighten the mood and alleviate Draco's tension.
As intended, Draco chuckled. “No! Quite the opposite actually. He's the Chosen One, the Golden Boy, the Savior of the Wizarding World, the Boy Who–”
“HARRY BLOODY POTTER IS THE FATHER OF YOUR CHILD?!?!” Lucius roared in a cross between sheer astonishment, outrage, and horror.
“Ah,” Narcissa murmured in understanding. “That explains why you were so certain we'd hate him.” She giggled and took Draco's hand in hers so that she could squeeze it. “I can't speak for your father, but I'm rather delighted by this news.”
“YOU ARE?!” Lucius roared in disbelief.
Narcissa grinned at him. “Well, not only did he save our family from a rather unpleasant fate, but think about it. Who better to drag our name back out of the mud?”
“–! … huh …” Lucius leaned back in his chair and stroked his chin as he thought about this. “You make an interesting point.”
“Wow! I really didn't think you'd come around so quickly,” Draco blurted out, looking back and forth between his parents in surprise.
“Please invite Mr. Potter around for tea sometime,” Narcissa said with a genuine smile.
“I will,” Draco promised with a smile in return.
***
Draco collapsed onto Harry and panted heavily for a few minutes. Harry was also panting, but his sounded reminiscent of a cat purring. He stroked Draco's back idly with his right hand.
When Draco felt like he could speak, he gave Harry a cautious smile. “So... my parents took the news better than I expected.”
Harry chuckled. “That's good. Ron and Hermione already had it more than half figured out before I could decide how to tell them. Ron was flabbergasted but Hermione was fairly accepting and surprisingly excited by the news – she thinks that you would be rather good for me if we ever manage to get along.”
Draco smirked. “Well, so far, shagging whenever we start to vex each other has helped immensely.”
Harry laughed. “Yes, it has.”
Draco gave Harry a genuine smile – which was rare for him. “Ironically, my parents were almost the same. My father sounded like he was half considering disowning me for a couple seconds, but then my mother admitted how happy she was about you being the other father, and my father stopped to think about it from an objective perspective. I think he's reached acceptance now too.”
“Huh! I really thought there'd be more resistance to the idea of us getting together,” Harry remarked wryly.
“Well don't count your pixies before they pull your hair, Potter. We still have to write a piece to submit to the Daily Prophet to announce the news before they get wind of it on their own and start wailing like melodramatic banshees,” Draco reminded him. “The howlers will probably start pouring in shortly thereafter.”
“You're probably right,” Harry muttered unappreciatively. Then he sighed rather morosely. “Why can't they just mind their own business?”
Draco shrugged. “Your business is their business. Try not to let it get to you. Anyway, forget about that for a moment, I wanted to ask you something.”
Harry caressed Draco's gloriously posh naked arse. “Already?”
Draco chuckled. “I need at least two more minutes, so no. I was wondering if you'd do something to protect our children from malicious gossip, which will also have a few legal benefits as well.”
Harry frowned in thought. “And what's that?”
“Marry me?”
There was a long pause as Draco buried his face in Harry's chest so that he wouldn't have to see the rejection on the Gryffindor's face. “It wouldn't have to be anything more than a contract. Just something to ensure that both of them are legitimate, and also, if either of us should die, they'd both be able to inherit –”
“Draco, shut up,” Harry said, actually putting a hand over Draco's mouth to silence him. “And look me in the eye while I say this so I can kiss you.”
Draco gasped as sudden hope punched him in the gut. He trembled as he gathered up the courage to look at Harry. When he did, Harry's serious expression softened to a smile.
“I can understand all the very good reasons you want to get married, but I have a better one...” he trailed off as he made good on his promise to kiss Draco. Their left hands entwined and stayed that way, even when Draco pulled back.
“So... is that a yes?”
Harry laughed. “No, it's a Quidditch match! What do you think?!”
Draco glared at him with enough heat to leave scorch marks. Harry sighed in defeat and kissed him again. Then he whispered in his ear.
“Yes...”
Elated, Draco held Harry tight as their recent mutual orgasms teamed up with the exhausting life growing inside them to put them to sleep. A peaceful sleep that held the promise of a happy future.
Author/Artist:
roxannepackardPairing(s): Harry/Draco
Prompt: #S54
Summary: Separately, both Harry and Draco come to the conclusion that they want/need a child, and then they get together to make it happen.
Word Count: ~6700
Rating: Teen and up, sorry, lol!
Warnings/Contains: N/A
Notes:
Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Harry sat staring silently into the fire. He was going to be 25 in a few months. He was already a full fledged Auror and his case load had calmed down enough that he worked a mostly normal schedule. Which meant that he had time to think about other things. Such as how badly he wanted to be a father.
Sure! He could wait until he found the right person to marry and have kids then, but... Well... What if that never happened? He had really thought it was going to be Ginny there for a while, but – as it turned out – he was truly and utterly gay. Having sex with her had rapidly become a chore that he made any excuse to avoid. The really sad thing was that he did love her as deeply as he would a wife, but... It just wasn't enough.
“What are you thinking about?” Hermione asked softly, breaking into his thoughts.
He turned to look at his two best friends, and then shrugged. “I just... I want kids.”
“Right now?” Ron asked in mild fascination.
Harry nodded in confirmation. “Yeah actually. I feel like I'm missing my kids with a bone deep ache that I just can't ignore.”
“Oh Harry,” Hermione said with a soft and sympathetic sigh. She reached over and took his hand to give it a squeeze. “I'd help but I think that probably wouldn't work out well in the long run.”
“What do you mean?” Ron asked suspiciously.
Hermione chuckled and pointed at him. “Exactly that, Ron. I think that even if I carried a child for Harry as a surrogate, we'd get so attached to the baby that we'd want to be co-parents, and then that would cause arguments and jealousy and...” She shook her head. “It's best to just avoid that whole mess.”
“Yeah,” Harry agreed softly. Besides, he couldn't think of any way that she'd manage to end up as his surrogate that didn't involve acts a gay man didn't like to think about. Acts that would piss Ron off even if he claimed to be in agreement. Yeah... no.
Harry considered for one full second that maybe it was time to tell them that he was gay. Then he could ask Hermione for help figuring out a better solution. But then he mentally shook his head. Knowing Hermione, she'd come up with something both crazy and embarrassing – such as turning into a woman for a year or so. No thanks!
Ron seemed to come to the conclusion that it would be in his best interest to firmly change the focus of a surrogate away from his beloved. “Still not really a problem, mate. There's hundreds – actually, probably thousands of witches who would kill to carry your child for you!”
“Er...” Harry droned for a second. “Well, yeah, but then what? Think about that for a moment. Say I interview all willing witches until I find one that I think will be willing to carry my baby for the right reasons – being that I want a baby of my own and she can provide me with one – only to find out that she was really good at hiding her plans to try to keep the baby and use it against me. And even if I find one that I can trust to give me the baby afterwards and not try to use it against me, she's probably going to want a big reward or the rights to tell her story in a book so she can make money off it.” He ended in a frustrated sigh.
Ron shrugged. “So insist that she make an unbreakable vow beforehand that she won't use the baby against you or try to make a profit off the experience. I'm not sure it would be fair to deny her a reward though.”
Harry nodded to admit he had a point with that last bit. “Maybe... Too bad I can't just do it all myself.”
“What? Get yourself pregnant?” Ron asked in amusement.
“Well... yeah...” Harry murmured.
Hermione smiled at him, and since she was still holding his hand, she squeezed it again. “Actually, you can. Sort of. If you found someone willing to donate his sperm and took a fertility potion, you could get pregnant without anyone else involved. Muggles have 'banks' for women to buy donor sperm, so it's definitely doable.”
Ron wore a thoughtful look as he nodded. “Yeah, don't know why I didn't think of that sooner, but a potion could solve your problem. I'd even be willing to – er no. I'd be willing to ask Charlie to donate some sperm for you. He's gay so he probably wouldn't mind at all having someone use his sperm to create a child he'd otherwise never have. Might want visitation rights or something though.”
“That could work,” Harry murmured in speculation. “But let me think about it some more. If I decide to do that, I can ask him myself.” Then he huffed in mild surprise. “Didn't know that Charlie was gay though.”
Ron shrugged. “Well he hasn't made a fuss about it or anything. Everyone just believes that he's too much of a nutter for Dragons to think about people, but he's always been interested in blokes. Probably has at least one lover amongst all those other nutters he works with in Romania.”
Harry sighed a bit morosely. “I can think of one problem with all of this...”
“What?” Hermione asked, clearly ready to come up with a solution for him.
“Well... As much as I'd rather do this all on my own as opposed to with a complete stranger, I was sort of hoping that I would find someone to do this with. Even if I asked Charlie and he was willing and wanted to have visitation, he lives in Romania, so we wouldn't exactly be raising the baby together. And... well... shouldn't a baby have two parents? Shouldn't a baby have a real family?”
“Oh Harry...” Hermione sighed in sympathy. “Yeah. In an ideal world, a baby should. Which is why you should probably wait until you can give that to your kids.”
Then Hermione smirked impishly at Ron. “Unless, of course, Ron gets over his squeamishness and donates to the cause after all. Then the baby really would have two parents who know how to get along.”
Ron rolled his eyes at her. “How is that any different than you carrying a baby for him? You already said that would probably be disastrous!”
She chuckled because she hadn't changed her mind on that, she was just trying to wind her fiancé up. Harry squeezed her hand as he laughed almost silently. They just loved playing jokes on Ron because he worked with George and often played jokes on them.
But then Harry frowned. “You know, as much as I understand what you are talking about – how it would probably be a bad idea in the long run – you two really are just about the only people I trust to have kids with.”
Ron sighed in exaggerated capitulation. “Fine! If I must...”
Both Harry and Hermione laughed and shook their heads at the obviously fake put upon expression on Ron's face. Maybe I could tell him I was gay after all, Harry mused. Only, no. Not into him. It would feel too much like having sex with my brother.
“Son...”
“Dad,” Draco ground out in frustration. “I'm only 24 for Salazar's sake! There's still plenty of time to work on an heir! Hell! My Healer assures me that I'm going to be highly fertile for at least the next 50 or 60 years! He's deeply impressed, I assure you.”
Lucius chuckled despite trying to remain firm. “That may be true, and a Malfoy trait, but just think about that for a moment. There's a reason that your mother and I don't have another child.”
“You can't stand the thought of shagging her at your age?” Draco supplied helpfully.
Lucius gave him a flat look. “Do you really want me to respond to that honestly?”
Draco looked definitely queasy as he desperately tried to shove the sudden mental images out of his mind. “No!” He blurted out, holding his hands up like a shield as he fervently shook his head.
Lucius chuckled again. “I thought not. No, the real reason that your mother and I don't want to have another child at this point is that you're an adult now, and having children really is best left to the young. Yes, that means that even though we would have plenty of time to devote to a child, we wouldn't have the energy. But it also means subjecting someone completely innocent to all the slander that is associated with our name. As an adult, you can handle it, but what about a child?”
Draco scoffed incredulously. “That's exactly my point! If I had a child, he or she would be subjected to all that slander as well!”
Lucius shook his head. “I don't think so. You are just barely acknowledged as a sort of very minor hero of the war. When people sling figurative mud at you, it's because you are my son, since it's widely known that I was most definitely not innocent in the war. I truly think that – especially by the time he or she is old enough to go to Hogwarts – your child will mostly be accepted or ignored as innocent. A Malfoy, yes, but your child. Not mine.”
Draco groaned and rolled his head around on his shoulders as it occurred to him that his father was not going to let this matter drop. But he also didn't want to agree to anything yet because, well... Because even if people did accept his child as more or less innocent, the child would still be influenced just by having Lucius as a grandfather. Which could potentially be a disaster!
“Fine, I'll think about it,” Draco capitulated.
“Excellent! I'll tell your mother and she can contact the Greengrasses to see if they're interested in arranging a marriage between one of their daughters and you,” Lucius stated in triumph. He didn't even attempt to hide it either, the bastard!
Draco sighed, feeling as if all the fight had just left him. “I'll be in my room,” he muttered as he walked away.
“Oh cheer up!” Lucius called after him. “Being married is actually rather relaxing!”
“Right...” Draco drawled sarcastically, half hoping that his father wouldn't hear him. A chuckle let him know that he probably had.
Draco kicked a footstool across his bedroom with a roar, knowing that his silencing spell would prevent his parents from hearing it.
“Problem?” Snape asked with a snide sneer from where he hung on the wall. Why Draco had ever agreed to accept a copy of the portrait was beyond him, although, it was thankfully rare for Snape to come visit him.
“My father insists that I marry and have an Heir, even though I am gay and the thought of touching a woman makes me shudder in horror!” Draco shouted, not caring that Snape was – yep, he was now gaping at Draco in astonishment.
“You are?” That came out in a tone that Draco was fairly sure no one had ever heard from him in real life.
“Yep! I'm so gay that I'd even beg you to shag me in every way possible before I considered having sex with a woman!”
Snape actually blushed at that before growling softly. “There's no need to be crude, Draco.”
“Why shouldn't I be?! My life is practically over now!”
Snape sighed in aggravation. “Stop being such a drama queen – although, now that I think about it, this certainly explains a few things.” His expression rapidly changed from introspection to that of arrogant distaste. “If you want to marry a man, simply tell your father that and marry one.”
“Oh sure! Like it's really going to be that easy. I'll just put an advert in the Prophet, shall I? Poncy pureblood prince seeks wizard to marry him and have heirs. Must not mind the occasional attempt against his life.”
Snape gave Draco his infamous look. The same one that was usually reserved for Harry Potter and any student that wasn't a Slytherin. “I refuse to talk to you when you're in this mood.”
Draco harrumphed derisively.
Snape turned to leave, but then paused. “So don't get married. Use your considerable skill at making potions to Polyjuice yourself into someone else, and then take a fertility potion and entice someone into a one off.”
This thought actually made Draco grin in amusement. “Are you really supposed to advise your students to do such things?”
“You are no longer my student,” Snape sneered disdainfully. “My sole concern now is advising you on those things that typical Slytherins might use to get what they want.”
“Hmm...” Draco murmured as he stroked his chin in thought. “You know, that's not actually a bad idea. Then I don't have to suffer the humiliation of trying to approach a half blood – or worse! A muggleborn!”
“There's always muggles and squibs,” Snape jibed mercilessly.
Draco flat out snorted at that. “Because yes, provoking my father into killing me is exactly what I want.”
With a shrug, Snape disappeared, leaving his portrait completely black.
Draco found that he just didn't want to wait to brew the potions himself. Once the idea took root, he wanted to get it done and over with as soon as possible. Just as he added a fertility potion to the basket containing a flask of Polyjuice, he turned and nearly yelped in surprise.
“I'm surprised to see you buying potions, Malfoy.”
“Potter,” Draco muttered as he rapidly tried to gain control of his expression.
Harry looked over to the shelf of potions that Draco had just shopped from. “Er...” He tilted his head to the side curiously. “I can see why I would need a fertility potion, but why do you?”
Draco felt strangely thrown by this question. “Wait, why do you? Your Weaselette not as talented at making babies as her mother?”
Harry glared at Draco. “Watch it! And no, I'm not interested in Ginny like that. I'm currently gathering up all my options, one of which is a fertility potion to have a baby myself – although finding a donor I can... Why am I explaining this to you???”
Draco was now biting his lip in thought. “Shockingly, it sounds like we might actually be in the same situation.”
“Say what?” Harry asked in surprise.
Draco nodded cautiously. “My father is pressuring me to get married and have an Heir, but I would rather be given to Greyback as punishment again before marrying a witch.” The moment he realized what he'd said, he pressed his lips together and looked away. “Anyway, maybe we could help each other.”
Harry was too stunned to say anything for a long moment. “You were...” he faltered, paling.
Draco took a deep breath and prepared to face the look of unbearable sympathy on Harry's face. “Not to worry, I'm not a werewolf. Not even the Dark Lord wanted that. Although Greyback probably did. It happened a long time ago, so please just forget I said anything. More importantly –”
“No wait, hang on!” Harry held his hands up and shook them to interrupt Draco. “When exactly did this happen? He's still in Azkaban as the Ministry is not quite sure whether or not to have all the former Death Eaters Kissed. I could discretely urge Kingsley to push forward with his punishment.”
Draco sighed and rubbed his head. “I'd actually rather not think about it. Any of it. At all.”
“Er... right...” Harry murmured in reluctant acceptance.
“As I was saying. We could help each other out. I'll, er, donate to your cause and you can donate to mine. Then we both have what we want, and since we also want nothing to do with each other, we won't have to worry about inconvenient meddling,” Draco explained his proposition.
Harry pinched his chin and looked to the ceiling as he thought about this. “That could work, except, well...”
Draco tried to wait patiently for Harry to finish his sentence, but patience wasn't exactly his strong suit. “Except what?” He prompted with an insistent roll of his hand.
“Would you be adverse to shared custody?” Harry asked, then added: “I have mine during the week, and both every other weekend. Or actually, maybe it might work better for you to have them each day while I'm at work, and then I can have them each night when I come home and at least one full day each weekend.”
Draco was nearly gobsmacked. “You want to share your child with me?”
“Well yeah...” Harry trailed off and looked around. There wasn't anyone else in the shop since Harry had purposely picked a time when he wasn't likely to be spied on by a crowd. Even so, there could be eavesdroppers. He cast a powerful silencing charm around them.
Then he took a deep breath. “You know I was orphaned as a baby, but you might not know that I was raised by muggles that hated me and tried their best to make me as miserable as possible. I wasn't beaten or raped or anything like that, but I was locked up, starved from time to time, and told that I was a worthless freak. So – if at all possible – I want my kids to have two loving parents. And... each other.”
Draco was silent as he thought this over very carefully. Ever since he had decided to take Snape's advice and trick a stranger into getting him up the duff, he had resigned himself to having just one child, but if he agreed to Harry's counterproposal, he'd have two. Possibly more.
He cleared his throat. “What if... if we find that we actually can share our children decently well; what if one of us eventually wants another?”
Harry smiled at that. “To tell you the truth, I always wanted a big family like the Weasleys – full of love and laughter.”
“Let's not get carried away!” Draco blurted out in alarm, actually taking a step back.
Harry chuckled and shook his head wryly. “In any case, I suppose that – if we manage to be decent co-parents – we could have more in the future.”
Draco held up his hands. “Alright, I know this was my idea, but why would you agree to it?”
Harry gave him a long blank look before biting his lip for a second. “Well, at least with you, I know you don't give a fuck about my fame. I know that if I piss you off, you'll shout at me honestly and hex me into next week, rather than go behind my back and print all the sordid details in the Prophet – or at least I hope you won't do that since you now know what it's like to be badmouthed by the media.” He then shrugged. “And even if we can't get along, at least we'll both have what we want – as you originally suggested. It's sort of win-win.”
Draco nodded in agreement. “Alright. So how do you want to do this?”
Harry shrugged again. “However you want. We can simply donate to each other's cause – as you said – or since you're gay (which I had no idea about, by the way) and I'm gay, we could always do it the, er, fun way.”
Draco felt his eyes go wide as he stood there unable to react in any way for what felt like an eternity. Harry had to actually snap him out of it by literally snapping his fingers in front of Draco's face.
“Alright there, Malfoy?”
Draco shook off his shock, and then nodded. “Yeah, just... surprised. I had no idea either. I didn't expect that at all.”
“So...” Harry prompted gently.
“The fun way?” Draco asked with a hint of a grin, trying hard not to sound too interested.
Harry grinned in return. “I was rather hoping you'd say that.”
“So... now?” Draco wondered curiously, again trying not to sound like he was eager. Even though he was. About as eager as a Crup hearing his food being dished up from across the entire Malfoy estate and dropping everything to run like a greyhound to the kitchen.
“Oh... more like five minutes from now. Also later tonight. Tomorrow morning, and probably just after lunch to be absolutely sure we gave it out best effort,” Harry replied with an indifferent shrug.
Draco didn't even try to hide how he went crossed eyed at that. “Yes please!”
“Er, mate? Are you aware that you're staring off dreamily at the hairball that Crookshanks just vomited up?” Ron asked with a raised brow.
Harry chuckled and focused on his best friends. Hermione looked like she was biting her tongue to remind herself to wait for Harry to say it himself. He rolled his eyes at her.
“Sorry, didn't mean to get lost in thought,” he apologized.
Ron snorted in amusement. “Last time that happened, I ended up agreeing to be the donor father of your future sprogs. Please tell me that you're not expecting that to happen right this second!”
Harry shook his head. “Good news, I found someone else.”
“Oh thank Merlin!” Ron blurted out in relief. “Is it Charlie? Because if it is and you sort of decide to be together, I won't freak out or anything like that.”
Harry tilted his head and gave Ron a confused look.
“What?” Ron asked with a frown. “Like I didn't figure it out when you spent ages trying to figure out how to have a baby by yourself with a bloke rather than find a witch – such as Luna, who you know would try to summon rocks from the moon if you asked her to.”
“Er...” Huh... Ron had a point. Luna would have totally done it, and Harry would have actually trusted her to do so. Plus, Luna would have made a wonderful mother for Harry's children.
Ron shrugged. “Not to mention that you've been really happy the last couple of weeks, and so, I'm thinking that you found a bloke you like. Still not sure about the baby thing though. Wouldn't it be a bit soon to bring that up with someone you just met?”
Harry exhaled in profound relief. “I should have known that the two of you would accept me, even gay.”
“I think another clue was when you broke up with Ginny and I overheard her complaining that you never looked at her like you wanted to drag her to bed and shag the hell out of her,” Ron added as he looked to the ceiling in thought.
Hermione chuckled. “I wondered if you'd heard that, Ron. Ginny was pretty sure that you fancied blokes, Harry, ever since the time you two went to a Quidditch match together and she caught you drooling over a rather fit Chaser that looked a bit like Oliver Wood.”
Harry smiled fondly at the memory, even moaning very softly in appreciation. “Yes... I remember that. I think I tried to pretend that I was simply amazed by his skill, but she merely shrugged and changed the subject.”
“Alright, so now that we've finally discussed the Hippogriff in the room, can we please get back to this new bloke you're seeing?” Ron asked, inexplicably curious as to who had caught Harry's attention.
Harry bit his lip and looked away. “Do we have to talk about that? Can't we just say that I took a fertility potion, got up the duff, and leave it at that?”
“You wha?!” Ron blurted out, bug-eyed from shock.
“Oh Harry!” Hermione cried out in delight as she threw her arms around him.
“But. But. But,” Ron stuttered. “So soon?”
Harry nodded with a soft smile. “He really wanted a baby right away too, so we agreed to get each other pregnant. We're going to try to work together as co-parents, but even if we can't get along, we promised not to interfere with each other's child, so it looks to be a good situation all around.”
Hermione bit her lip to stop from saying anything, but then gave in anyway. “Please tell us who – especially if you plan to keep seeing him.”
Harry sighed in defeat. “You're not going to like it.”
Ron – having recovered from his shock remarkably quickly – snorted in amusement. “No matter who it is, he can't be as bad as that ferret Malfoy!”
“Well...” Harry trailed off as he looked away and scratched the back of his neck. Ron was gaping at him in pure shock again.
Hermione – on the other hand – was torn between being certain that Harry was joking, and (very strangely) impressed that Harry had found someone that would actually be able to treat Harry as a person, as opposed to a celebrity. She grinned and laughed almost silently. Slowly, she nodded in acceptance.
“Malfoy, eh?” She kissed him on the cheek. “I can see that working out surprisingly well. His family is close knit and very big on family.”
“I'll admit that occurred to me,” Harry said with a smile.
“Draco, darling, are you feeling well?” Narcissa asked her son in concern.
“I'm just a bit nauseous is all,” Draco admitted dismissively.
“Come now, surely the prospect of meeting with your potential future bride isn't that bad,” Lucius murmured as he took a sip of his rich and creamy tea.
“That's today?!” Draco blurted out in alarm. His stomach took a definite turn for the worse and he barely had time to conjure a bag before he was filling it with something that tasted like carrots as it came up.
This actually gave Lucius pause. “Is meeting with your potential future bride that bad?”
“Yes!” Draco cried out in between heaves, then managed to add: “But that's not why I'm –” He cut himself off by adding more to the bag. Seriously, when was the last time I even ate carrots???
A house elf popped in just then to hand him a stomach settling potion, which Draco downed with profound relief. He rubbed his stomach with a sigh as he handed the full bag to the house elf – who promptly vanished it.
Lucius couldn't decide whether to be amused or sympathetic. “As I've said, being married is actually rather relaxing. There's no need to work yourself into such a state.”
Draco gave him a look that was apathetic at best, and probably more of a sarcastic grimace than anything. “It's not marriage I'm opposed to. And as I said, that's not why I'm sick.”
“The muggle flu perhaps?” Narcissa suggested, preparing to summon a Pepper-up Potion to cure it.
“No. I've contracted a condition that will last for approximately another nine months. I'm told that I'll feel rather nauseous and vomit with no rhyme or reason for the next two or so months, and then I'll get positively ravenous and grow rather fat, and then...” Draco trailed off to think about what would come next. He had a finger pressed to his lips as he stared vaguely at his plate.
“Er... that sounds...” Narcissa began, glancing at her husband to see if he was thinking the same thing. Lucius looked like he was mentally scrolling through a list of possible illnesses and coming up empty. “Like you're...”
Draco smiled at her. “The illness culminates in an emergency trip to St. Mungo's – or perhaps calling for a Healer to attend me here – followed by an excessive amount of crying and frequent messes to clean up.”
“Wait,” Lucius held a hand up, his face scrunched up in confusion. “This is starting to sound fairly serious.”
“Oh yes. I expect it'll affect me for the rest of my life – or at least the next 17 to 20 years or so,” Draco added with a serious nod.
Narcissa had definitely caught on by now because she was biting her lip to hold back laughter and glancing back and forth between her son and husband. Part of her wanted to let Lucius in on the joke, but the rest of her wanted to see how long before Lucius figured it out for himself.
“Yes, I think I've heard of this condition,” she murmured sagely. “It's the one where you won't be able to sleep for at least the first year or so, and then you'll still frequently pace the floor with worry. Nearly every day, you'll have to sit on your hands to stop yourself from hovering excessively. You'll be terrified that something will happen during the night – that breathing will stop for no apparent reason.”
“Truly?” Draco asked in dismay. “I wasn't aware of that. That sounds frightful, actually.”
Lucius was giving his wife a highly suspicious look. “It's starting to sound like you're describing the way I felt for about the first five years after Draco was born.”
“Ah. Does it?” Narcissa asked innocently.
“Wait, you were afraid I'd stop breathing for five years? Was I sickly?” Draco asked in concern.
“Not at all,” Narcissa assured him. “Simply that babies are known for dying unexpectedly for no reason. It's not such a problem for magical babies, but still... it happens. Parents can't help but be afraid of it.”
“Is there anything that can be done to make sure it doesn't happen?” Draco asked, unconsciously pressing one hand to his chest.
“Monitoring spells on the crib are fairly effective. The one you slept in as a baby has been in the family for centuries and hasn't lost a baby yet. It's spelled and warded to deal with every possible situation,” Narcissa explained.
“I should have a house elf bring it to my room so that I can get a good look at it,” Draco murmured with a soft smile.
“Now wait just a minute!” Lucius half shouted. “Why does it sound like the two of you are talking about expecting a baby?!”
Draco gave him a smug smirk that positively radiated merriment. It took Lucius a moment to realize that Draco wasn't going to laugh and cry out: “Gotcha!” Lucius pointed at his son accusingly.
“You're having me on, aren't you? You and your mother plotted an attempt to murder me today, only I can't figure out what I've done recently to deserve it.”
“Who said it was recent?” Draco asked curiously.
“Please tell me that you're not still angry about the time that I gave you the wrong color shirt for Christmas,” Lucius nearly begged, rubbing his head in an attempt to ward off a headache.
Draco growled at him. “Why wouldn't I be? Really! That shade of green with this complexion?! It would have been like wearing a baby's diaper!”
“Oh no darling! As you'll soon find out, baby's diapers are usually more yellowish until they start eating solid food and turn brown,” Narcissa informed him helpfully.
“Mother! Not while I'm finally trying to eat!” Draco protested as he held a fork about halfway to his mouth.
Lucius leapt to his feet and stared at Draco in astonishment. “Merlin and Salazar! You're serious?!?!”
Draco nodded quite solemnly.
“But! But! But,” Lucius felt like his head was spinning and collapsed back into his seat. “How??? When?! WHO?!?!”
Draco smirked rather evilly. “Are you sure you don't want to know a highly detailed account of what happened and where it happened as well? I think I can safely assume that you'll figure out the why all on your own.”
Lucius didn't know whether to be impressed or affronted by his son's attitude. “You cheeky little bastard...” he praised gruffly.
Draco feigned deep offense over that. “I beg to differ, my parents were most certainly married!”
Lucius snorted in amusement even as Narcissa chuckled. But then – almost as if they had practiced it at some point – they sighed in unison. It was a foreboding sound to Draco's ears.
“So... you plan to have this baby on your own and be the first Malfoy in centuries to have an illegitimate Heir?” Narcissa asked as Lucius summoned a parchment so that he could owl the Greengrasses a cancellation notice.
“If I have to,” Draco answered with a shrug. “I'm still hoping that I can talk him into marriage if for no other reason than to prevent nosy busybodies from calling either of our children bastards.”
Lucius paused in his note writing to stare at Draco once more. Even Narcissa seemed at a loss for words for a moment. Then she cleared her throat. “Both?”
Draco nodded. “Yes. He wanted a child too, and since I needed an Heir to hopefully make you see that I don't need to marry some witch after all, we agreed to give each other what we wanted.”
Lucius held his breath until the urge to shout had passed. “Son... if all this time, the problem has been that you simply prefer to marry a man, you could have just told us that. We could have looked in the right direction.”
Draco snorted derisively. “You forget, I went to school with the majority of the eligible wizards from the right families, so I already know who would be amenable to marrying me, and Blaise is pretty much my only pureblooded option. Call me vain, but I'd prefer that if I got married, it would be to someone who doesn't consider marriage as a convenient booty call at best, and an inconvenient hindrance to playing around at worst. He takes after his mother and would probably be on at least his third marriage by now if he had bothered to go through with any of them. That said, he does actually like me enough to marry and stay married to me while he shags everyone who crosses his path,” Draco ended with a shrug.
“Er...” Lucius frowned and tried to come up with a good reply to that.
“So, perhaps simply being a pureblood wizard isn't the most important requirement,” Narcissa interjected diplomatically.
“But, wait... If you didn't choose a pureblood wizard – or did you? You said that Blaise likes you enough to marry you, and you also said that you hope to marry the father of your child to avoid the stigma of illegitimacy...”
“No.” Draco took a deep breath. “You're not going to like this.” He then purposely focused on eating and drinking for a few silent moments.
Lucius used the time to finish his note and send it off before unconsciously tapping on the table from impatience. Narcissa waved away the house elf that wanted to refill her now empty tea cup. She plastered an extremely patient look on her face.
“Is he a,” she couldn't help but flinch ever so slightly. “Muggleborn?”
“No. He's more pureblood than not. Sort of three quarter blood as I understand it,” Draco replied, still paying more attention to his plate than strictly necessary.
Both Lucius and Narcissa exhaled in relief at that. “Alright. We can work with that,” Lucius assured his son. “That means that the purity of your unborn child – er children – is so minutely diluted that it's negligible.”
“So, what exactly won't we like about this man of yours?” Narcissa wondered.
“Well,” Draco paused to take a leisurely sip of his tea. “He's someone that our family has severely disliked for many years.”
“The Dark Lord?” Narcissa asked in amusement, trying to lighten the mood and alleviate Draco's tension.
As intended, Draco chuckled. “No! Quite the opposite actually. He's the Chosen One, the Golden Boy, the Savior of the Wizarding World, the Boy Who–”
“HARRY BLOODY POTTER IS THE FATHER OF YOUR CHILD?!?!” Lucius roared in a cross between sheer astonishment, outrage, and horror.
“Ah,” Narcissa murmured in understanding. “That explains why you were so certain we'd hate him.” She giggled and took Draco's hand in hers so that she could squeeze it. “I can't speak for your father, but I'm rather delighted by this news.”
“YOU ARE?!” Lucius roared in disbelief.
Narcissa grinned at him. “Well, not only did he save our family from a rather unpleasant fate, but think about it. Who better to drag our name back out of the mud?”
“–! … huh …” Lucius leaned back in his chair and stroked his chin as he thought about this. “You make an interesting point.”
“Wow! I really didn't think you'd come around so quickly,” Draco blurted out, looking back and forth between his parents in surprise.
“Please invite Mr. Potter around for tea sometime,” Narcissa said with a genuine smile.
“I will,” Draco promised with a smile in return.
Draco collapsed onto Harry and panted heavily for a few minutes. Harry was also panting, but his sounded reminiscent of a cat purring. He stroked Draco's back idly with his right hand.
When Draco felt like he could speak, he gave Harry a cautious smile. “So... my parents took the news better than I expected.”
Harry chuckled. “That's good. Ron and Hermione already had it more than half figured out before I could decide how to tell them. Ron was flabbergasted but Hermione was fairly accepting and surprisingly excited by the news – she thinks that you would be rather good for me if we ever manage to get along.”
Draco smirked. “Well, so far, shagging whenever we start to vex each other has helped immensely.”
Harry laughed. “Yes, it has.”
Draco gave Harry a genuine smile – which was rare for him. “Ironically, my parents were almost the same. My father sounded like he was half considering disowning me for a couple seconds, but then my mother admitted how happy she was about you being the other father, and my father stopped to think about it from an objective perspective. I think he's reached acceptance now too.”
“Huh! I really thought there'd be more resistance to the idea of us getting together,” Harry remarked wryly.
“Well don't count your pixies before they pull your hair, Potter. We still have to write a piece to submit to the Daily Prophet to announce the news before they get wind of it on their own and start wailing like melodramatic banshees,” Draco reminded him. “The howlers will probably start pouring in shortly thereafter.”
“You're probably right,” Harry muttered unappreciatively. Then he sighed rather morosely. “Why can't they just mind their own business?”
Draco shrugged. “Your business is their business. Try not to let it get to you. Anyway, forget about that for a moment, I wanted to ask you something.”
Harry caressed Draco's gloriously posh naked arse. “Already?”
Draco chuckled. “I need at least two more minutes, so no. I was wondering if you'd do something to protect our children from malicious gossip, which will also have a few legal benefits as well.”
Harry frowned in thought. “And what's that?”
“Marry me?”
There was a long pause as Draco buried his face in Harry's chest so that he wouldn't have to see the rejection on the Gryffindor's face. “It wouldn't have to be anything more than a contract. Just something to ensure that both of them are legitimate, and also, if either of us should die, they'd both be able to inherit –”
“Draco, shut up,” Harry said, actually putting a hand over Draco's mouth to silence him. “And look me in the eye while I say this so I can kiss you.”
Draco gasped as sudden hope punched him in the gut. He trembled as he gathered up the courage to look at Harry. When he did, Harry's serious expression softened to a smile.
“I can understand all the very good reasons you want to get married, but I have a better one...” he trailed off as he made good on his promise to kiss Draco. Their left hands entwined and stayed that way, even when Draco pulled back.
“So... is that a yes?”
Harry laughed. “No, it's a Quidditch match! What do you think?!”
Draco glared at him with enough heat to leave scorch marks. Harry sighed in defeat and kissed him again. Then he whispered in his ear.
“Yes...”
Elated, Draco held Harry tight as their recent mutual orgasms teamed up with the exhausting life growing inside them to put them to sleep. A peaceful sleep that held the promise of a happy future.
